Seeking help with dpd

Hi I'm an 18 year old guy..

I haven't been diagnosed by a psychiatrist or anything but I would say I'm 100% confident that I have dpd. The effects really hit me hard when it comes to woman I grow attached too. I'm extremely submissive and have an overwhelming fear of losing them and being taken advantage of. Recently I hit a sipped bump we'll say. Two nights ago I was talking to a girlrather romantically back and forth. Pretty much as if we were dating although we aren't. Then she says she slept with her "good friend" last night. I instantly erupted into an anxiety attack. I could honestly say it was the worst feeling I had ever experienced. it lasted for forty minutes to an hour, I'm not exactly sure. I was violently shaking due to chills I got. The worst headache I've ever had, felt sick to my stomach. Was coughing, crying and my veins were so sore and so were my shoulders and neck. All of that was followed by light headedness. The next night(last night) I decided to get drunk and to be hOnest, it was to feel better. Also I really want to again ASAP.

I'm pretty much posting here because I want to know how bad my case is. I would like to talk on herebecause it's anonymous. Any advice/help would be appreciated.

Just to add on, I constantly get the lesser effects of an anxiety attack just when this girl doesn't respond to me or just doesn't seem that close to me. Only way I can get rid of it is drinking. I can't stop either. I'm hoping someone will reply soon because I would like to try to avoid therapy in the future.

I just realised this was an old post, how are things for you now?

I've got AvPD, and I've recently begun dating someone, and I'm thinking I've definitely got dependent features. What you described was very similar for me, I mean to be honest, if he doesn't have contact with me at all for over 24 hrs, I start to get really insecure and somewhat panicky (I say somewhat because I'm on benzos and beta blockers for my anxiety anyway so it isn't as bad as what you have described). Its horrible, to think you 'need' someone, and they don't 'need' you in that way, to be so vulnerable think that the only way to stop the unbearable ache inside is to drink or use meds. This is a pretty new experience for me, because I don't do relationships due to this neediness, so I don't know what advice I can give, other than that you aren't alone.

I know you mentioned not wanting to go to therapy, I think these forums can be a great support, but I think if you are having such feelings, you do need to strongly consider a therapist, because these things rarely clear up on their own, they are often rooted at our core, and need a lot of work to get through them. I know therapy is not an enjoyable thing to start off with, but it does get easier.

I hope things have gotten better. Best wishes