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Lie detector tests?

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Lie detector tests?

Postby guest » Tue Feb 07, 2006 9:57 pm

I wanted to know if anyone out there has agreed or submitted to a lie detector test to prove to their DD loved one that they are NOT involved in a conspiracy, cheating/seeing someone behind their back, or spying? If so, did it restore trust for the DD person?

If the DD person says that they will believe you if you take the test, will they believe the results once the test proves you are innocent?

anyone out there who has experience with lie dectectors, truth serum, or hypnosis?

My DD recently sent word through a friend that if I would agree to hypnosis or polygraph test, then he would believe me if I passed it.

he also said that if I decline to take the test, then that"says it all". He thinks Ive cheated on him throughout our relationship.
I have never cheated, and i know i would pass the test with flying colors. Part of me wants to respond, just to prove that I am not the liar/cheater he says I am.



Postby Guest » Tue Feb 07, 2006 11:34 pm

For what its worth, I would advise against taking the test. This would be my DD reasoning in such a scenario. If you agreed I would first feel elated because I was so close to the truth. The truth I could never find or prove, the elusive truth that was making my life a complete nightmare. And here you are offering me the Holy Grail, a polygraph test, a truth that cannot be refuted. Even assuming polygraph tests were 100% reliable, if you took the test, in the end, after the initial comfort provided by your willingness to subject your self to such a test, I still would not believe you. Even if the results showed that never once did your heart rate increase (whatever the measure/measures are), my conclusion would be that you were more masterful of a deceiver than I had ever imagined. So artful, that you could even fool the machine, just like you’ve always fooled me. I would have to be more vigilant than I had ever been before to catch you in your perfidious ways. At least that would have been my reasoning, when I was fully in the grips of the delusional thought process. The way I see it is, if he is aware he is delusional and questioning his delusions, then he shouldn’t ask for such verification knowing that everything only leads to more doubt and more questions, if on the other hand, he fully believes and accepts his delusional thought process, then the only thing that will occur is more doubting and more questioning. I truly believe, until a DD person accepts, really and truly accepts that it is ME, and not you, and not the world, but ME who has the problem, then there is no helping them disprove the irrationality of their thought process. Because until the person reaches that point, their thought process isn’t irrational, it’s perfectly rational and normal, its just so happens they are very unfortunate victims, because they are not crazy, and everything, everything they believe, can really happen, and has, and is. I don’t know, this is just my experience, but I believe it would only add fuel to the fire.

Postby bsc2 » Wed Feb 08, 2006 1:19 am

I agree. A lie detector test will backfire and ultimately disappoint both the DD and the innocent prover.

The DD thinking you describe above, I would guess, is the most likely outcome.

My experience with my wife, trying to disprove anything she believes, is a waste of time. They don't really want you to be right.

i knew it

Postby guest » Wed Feb 08, 2006 2:16 am

Thanks for your honesty, I appreciate it. He doesn't think he is DD...I am a low-down dirty dog cheater. I cut him off a while back, and he is trying to lure me back with a solution to our dilemma: He keeps accusing me, and I am tired of hearing it and protesting my innocence.

Funny, I told him: "If I take the test, you will just accuse me of screwing the polygraph examiner, or beating the test with my super-duper antisocial skills, etc."

He said "No, I would be so relieved, it would be the answer to my prayers. I would never accuse you again, and if I did, I will accept I have a problem and go get help. I will even put it in writing if you want me to."

Keep in mind that he refuses to accept he is DD, and he thinks that everyone else is the problem.

So tempting....I would love to make him eat his words and feel like a jerk for accusing a good woman --beating me down for months and months over nothing.


Postby Goodwife » Wed Feb 08, 2006 3:41 pm

There are very few DD's who think they are DD. That is part of the delusion. No matter what you do, nothing will change. It will just be elavated to a higher level. He'll think that you found a way around the test. My opinion is that it will be useless effort on your part.

Postby Tori » Wed Mar 08, 2006 8:13 pm

The lie detector test. This is GREAT as I too was going to go ahead with it to prove to my DD ex that I wasn't a liar and didn't DO ANY of the things he accused me of. However, it was going to cost like $400 and the doctors and lawyers all warned me NOT to for all of the reasons stated in the previous posts in this string.

He won't belive it no matter what you do or say. If you disprove his delusions he only becomes angrier and more delusional. He doesn't want his delusions disproved it is what he hangs on to for survival as sick as that may sound. The delusions drive them, give them a purpose.

So...it is also my advice NOT to do it. I too wanted so very much to prove him wrong and have that solid piece of paper as proof. However, apparently, it doesn't work that way for them. Their brains are not rational-- they do not see things as we do. If we disprove their delusions ( have you not been told by the doctors NOT to try and disprove it-- that doing so only makes it worse??) it only makes their brain try and find another way to explain it and they begin a whole new delusion.

Here is a quick story. My former father-in-law experienced this with his ex wife ( the mother of my DD ex husband, she had it too...lends support to the gentic theory in my opinion). She had my former father-in-law accused of murder ( it had to do with the airlines at the time as he worked for a large airline in Florida---some employee of a major airline was murdered and it was suspicious in nature--she (ex's DD mother)called the Miami Dade police and reported my former father-in-law--NICE eh???). He presented himself to the police dept. ( as he was concerned they would question him anyway) they did do a lie detector test ( this was back in the 70's mind you) and he was cleared. She accused him of cheating the test. Did no good other than to practically tarnish the good man's reputation.

So...they are a waste of time in the experts and my poor former-father-in-laws's opinion. God Bless him now he has his son with the same illness...
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truth serum/hypnosis

Postby guest » Sat Mar 11, 2006 10:24 pm

Thanks to everybody for the input.

He has been off on another tangent lately....wanting me to undergo hypnosis and truth serum to prove that I am not a cheater.

But he also has a new delusion that he wants to prove, in addition to the cheating delusion...

The new delusion is that I am plotting against him in cahoots with his ex-wife in a complicated plot to take him children away from him. I have no idea what this is all about, as I am not involved in anything to do with his ex or his kids (I have purposefully maintained my distance from his kids to protect them from the pain/loss of the inevitable break-up). The plot is that we plan to ruin their relationship with their dad, and make them call another man (the ex is currently dating) "daddy" and eventually cut him out of the picture completely. This is insane, of course.

I told him that I don't have to do anything to ruin his relationship with his kids...he's doing a great job of that all by himself. I told him I was tired of being the scapegoat and the "reason" for everything that goes wrong in his life.

he called me paranoid.

Has anyone had their DD loved one do this reverse thing....calling the NORMAL spouse/partner "delusional" or paranoid? He constantly accuses me of being the one who is crazy. delusional. paranoid. etc.

dd thinking others are mentally ill

Postby junebuggy » Sat Mar 11, 2006 11:27 pm

My DD friend often told me that I was the one who needed counseling... even though she was the one who continuously got fired from jobs due to her strange behavior, thought every man she knew was sexually harrassing her, read a lot of meaning into every tiny coincidence, thought the government and her family was trying to harm her in some way .... and on and on. She called me "scary" when I told her she needed help, and would say I was the one who needed help because I didn't believe in her delusions.

And now she's going to a therapist who doesn't believe in mental illness and is telling her that her problems are all caused by having people in her life who aren't willing to develop emotionally as she is. So she often makes suggestions on what her friends and family need to do to get better! She thinks everyone in her life is mentally ill except herself.

Postby bsc » Sun Mar 12, 2006 2:49 am

To keep this short - yes, sounds like my wife. The rest of the world who is against her, are the crazy ones.
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Postby whyme » Sun Apr 02, 2006 9:46 am

Tell him your love is a present. You can stop givi t any time you want. But even than he will still belong to a small club of preveleged few that you ever loved. He is never in loos.


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