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"Coincidences" that reinforce delusions

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"Coincidences" that reinforce delusions

Postby Jerry » Sun Oct 09, 2005 11:27 am

I've suffer from what I believe to be a delusional disorder. I believe in my delusions at least 90% of the time but there's a small piece of me that wants to resist succumbing to the delusions.

Basically, I believe that my parents are trying to put a drug into my body that will keep me weakened- not kill me but to weaken me. I began to believe this because in the "real world" my parents forbade me from dating and engaging in social activites with my peers when I was young so in my mind, this is how they are controlling me so I can't defy their orders. I've had this delusion since I was in high school and it's gotten progressively worse over the years as I am becoming increasingly hypervigilant.

I no longer live close to my parents, but now I even believe that they have somehow convinced my neighbors to break into my apartment when I am away and sneak this drug in. The drug is like ubiquitous to me now. It can be in my food, water, even my clothes. I know this sounds insane, but in my heart I really believe this to be true.

The problem is that my delusions (if they are in fact delusions) are continously reinforced by "evidence". I can physically feel the effect of the drug on my body. Worse yet, I am plagued with "coincidences" that serve as "proof" of my delusions. For example, I am beginning to believe that my neighbor is aiding my parents. I think this because almost every single time I leave my apartment, she happens to be standing there outside of her apartment, watching me. I think that she calls my apartment right after I leave to make sure that no one is in there. The "proof" is that my caller ID will show that someone called just minutes after I leave my apartment and the caller shows up as "unavailable". This lady always happens to be standing outside her apartment whenever I leave so I have no choice but to think that she's the one who calls me and then breaks into my apartment when I' m gone. Is this just a coincidence? And it's not like I only think about this after the fact. Today I left my apartment for just about half an hour and when I came back, the woman again was standing there, watching me. When I went inside my place, I kept thinking to myself "please don't let the caller ID show that anyone called since I left my apartment". But sure enough, the caller ID showed that someone called within 5-10 minutes after I left. (And I don't get many calls on my home phone since my friends call me on my cell and I'm on the national do-not call list for my home phone so I'm not called by telemarketers.) When I saw this, my heart sank because the call happened at almost the exact time that I anticipated.

I hope someone can please help me. I am growing an increasingly violent hatred for this woman as well as my parents for doing this to me. I've already seen two therapists but my beliefs and anger have only intensified. It's these so-called "coincidences" that keep reaffirming my beliefs. Can anyone tell me how such occurrences could just be coincidences after all?

Greatly appreciating your help,

-Jerry
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Postby bsc » Mon Oct 10, 2005 7:21 pm

Yes, it sounds like maybe your parents did not do a good job raising you by trying to control your younger life. Of course, I am assuming what you say is true, and not just a deluded perception.

Now that you have moved away from your parents, why would a lady cooperate with your parents just to bug you. What is in it for her. Sounds like a lonely busybody, but most likely harmless. Try befriending her.

Tell her you are not sure if your phone is working and have her call you. Do not give her your phone number when you ask her this. If she says OK, and doesn't ask for your number. and calls you, then you know she has it. You could ask her how she knows it. If she does ask for it, give it to her. Check your caller ID after she calls. The only way it would be unavailable is if she has a private listing, otherwise her number will appear. If it says unavailable, you could ask her if she has a private listing.

Most likely you are worrying needlessly.

See my answer to your lock question under you other post.
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Postby goodwife » Tue Oct 11, 2005 7:38 pm

Jerry, since you are writing to this forum, at least some part of your mind doubts your suspicions. So, I have two suggestions.

To cover all the bases, go purchase a "spy camera" and install it to monitor your door (as bsc suggested).

Also, to make sure that it is not all in your mind, go see a counselor and tell him/her all this. See what he says. Everyone has preception problems sometimes.
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Re: "Coincidences" that reinforce delusions

Postby mf99k » Mon Mar 31, 2014 7:52 pm

I'd say that the poisoning belief is a bit paranoid. However, I would recommend socializing with your neighbor and possibly installing a security camera if you're still nervous. I personally have a bit of a similar problem with a delusional problem and coincidences, a few of which I've calculated to be a 1/182500 chance or less likely to occur. These coincidences enforce my own impossible beliefs and make it harder for me to doubt them. best of luck to you
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Re: "Coincidences" that reinforce delusions

Postby Doniall » Sun May 04, 2014 3:30 pm

My ex has DDP and takes coincidences the same way. I'll tell you what I tried too tell her. Coincidences are happening all day, every day, and you don't notice them. But if, on some level, you start looking for coincidences that support your beliefs, you'll find as many as you want. It's not that coincidences don't happen, that's why the term exists, it's increased awareness of the coincidences.

Try this little experiment. Think of a two digit number, say, 83. Now spend a day watching for that number. It'll appear everywhere! It's a matter of selective perception, your brain is on heightened alert because you feel in danger.

Every time you notice one of these coincidences, try to drive it out of your mind. Try not to let yourself go down the route of attempting to verify everything you suspect about a coincidence, because you reinforce the belief by allowing yourself to pursue it.
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Re: "Coincidences" that reinforce delusions

Postby T.A. Anderson » Mon May 05, 2014 1:38 am

Doniall wrote:My ex has DDP and takes coincidences the same way. I'll tell you what I tried too tell her. Coincidences are happening all day, every day, and you don't notice them. But if, on some level, you start looking for coincidences that support your beliefs, you'll find as many as you want. It's not that coincidences don't happen, that's why the term exists, it's increased awareness of the coincidences.


Your point is valid but I do not believe it offers a satisfactory explanation in all situations. First, not all "coincidences" are truly coincidental occurrences. Causality is not always easy to appreciate and some people mistaken as coincidental that which is casually related. Secondly, I think we have a natural tendency to deny or dismiss that which we can not understand. I believe in magic. Not really magic but "synchronicity." I have experienced a serious of subject matter related bizarrely improbable events occurring in relative short order. Dealing with my awareness is not easy. Rather than being caused by delusional thinking, my experience with the bizarre has a way of pushing me towards the edge of delusional thinking. I do not think I am alone. I believe we humans have developed some selective inattention and selective amnesia as a defensive mechanism to avoid that which interferes with the mass delusion we share.
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Re: "Coincidences" that reinforce delusions

Postby Doniall » Mon May 05, 2014 5:22 am

You're right, sometimes coincidences add to to more than they appear, I just hope you'll accept that the inverse is true: mostly they add up to less than they appear.
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Re: "Coincidences" that reinforce delusions

Postby mf99k » Thu May 22, 2014 4:14 am

Doniall wrote:
Try this little experiment. Think of a two digit number, say, 83. Now spend a day watching for that number. It'll appear everywhere! It's a matter of selective perception, your brain is on heightened alert because you feel in danger.


what about a 3 digit number that appears twice as often as every other number you keep track of when keeping track of 6 different numbers over a period of a year? (I'm almost positive I have a delusion but every time I list all the coincidences I've kept track of, the "delusion" is overwhelmingly supported. Like I'll stop believing it and then once I write up the list of things that have happened to make me believe it (I lost track of the actual # of events) I'll be convinced that it's real again. I don't think it's true but I can't not believe it without an existential crisis.
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Re: "Coincidences" that reinforce delusions

Postby UnB743 » Tue May 27, 2014 9:55 pm

I understand and believe u completely it's like a never ending saga the people r always there there is always proff that something has taken place coincidence or not I don't get it I feel for you and hope it gets better or u get a good med I got one that took a lot of the people away but not everything
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Re: "Coincidences" that reinforce delusions

Postby Sunnyg » Wed May 28, 2014 12:43 pm

Hi Jerry,
Hold on to the part of you that is trying to fight to encapsulate the paranoia. That is the part you need to keep alive, or else you'll loose touch. We've all been there. I was afraid when I was at the point you are at. The fear was the only reason I got help. You can read my blog entry "single black glove" if you want to hear my story.

I saw trained mental health providers, and yes, I my loved ones got me into treatment. Granted at first, the first medication was not my favorite.

However, the medication I'm on is really effective. Anyway, I'm sorry you aren't feeling well, and please seek care.
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