Suggestions?

I haven't been on this forum in a year or so, sorry about the long absence but I've managed to separate myself from this turmoil up until now. Got to love the holidays.
My mom has been diagnosed (50 years ago) with a form of schizophrenia, though back at that time everything that wasn't depression was psychosis. She was still a minor so it was dropped at that and my grandparents thought they would do her a favor and hide it.
For the last 10 years (roughly) she has been convinced that a family member is out to get her and my brother. She has called the cops a numerous amount of times, she's called the phone company several times to see if her line was tapped, kept a log of all the cars parked by the house and their license plates, and kept my brother from moving out because he might be killed if he's not with her at all times. (growing up with it he just thinks it's normal)
When she wants to tell me about a new development she will go outside because she is convince that somehow they can hear her in the house. She has become a recluse to the point that she only goes out to get her hair done and has gone through about every beautician in town because eventually this family member "gets to them" and they "turn" on her. If someone looks in her direction for any length of time they are in on it, and even her doctors have been accused of being league with them.
My Dad and Brother have both told her they don't believe her but will not take any action, "she's just cooped up in the house too much".
Here's the newest adventure (if that's what you can call it). About 3 weeks ago mom threatened to get a gun and kill everyone because she was so tired of being hunted, then out of the blue she asked me what I thought she should do, I suggested a psychiatrist, she said she would think about it, and it dropped. She called today and asked me if I would deliver some letter for her. I asked what was going on and she said she couldn't give me details without dragging me in the middle, all she could say is that she is being set up to be accused of murder, and that if she's going to be accused of it she might as well go ahead and do it. She said she got some money in the mail today (would not tell me how much or from whom) and that it was enough to fund whatever she had in mind. She said she was probably going to be dead or in jail by x-mas so please let the guys know she loves them because they don't believe her and wouldn't understand.
In this state I can not have her forcibly committed unless or until she actually commits and abusive or threatening act against someone else. Just saying she will isn't enough for them to hold her on. I am thinking that the only thing I can do is wait till she gives me the letters and turn them over to the police and hope it's enough to get her held over and maybe get her help.
Will it do any good to have her committed if she is really this convinced that everyone is against her? I mean I know there are meds she can take, but with her current state she's just going to say that the doctors are being paid to keep her drugged, she isn't going to believe anyone if they tell her how sick she is, the delusion has gone too far for that. I know she needs help, and I know this is the only way for her to get it, I'm just not sure maybe it's going to be too little too late.
Thoughts?

Hi,

I was actually going to suggest doing just that - i.e. committing her to a hospital. To me, it sounds like her delusions have started off small/innocent, but because she has not received any treatment, they have migrated to such a point where now death/murder is involved. This is the end point i'm afraid, and she cannot go on living in a civil society with these thoughts in her head. Think about it... If you have the power to have her committed, then I'm afraid to say that I think it would be best. From the way she is behaving (and the thoughts that are in her head), she poses a danger to herself and/or others. It's a terrible decision to make, but i believe it to be the right one in the long term. You should consult your local doctor about how best to proceed with this.

Kevin

There is a lot more to your post than what I'm about to reply to. But speaking specifically to your question about committment - honestly, I don't think it would do much good. My mother has seen the inside of institutions many times and has been forced to take medication, all to no avail. In fact, each instance seemed to make her worse. I know there are a LOT of people out there who would disagree with me. And I'm not an expert, only someone who has experienced this sort of behaviour with no help from any other relatives for many years. In fact, if you had her committed without her consent (in the event that she proved to be a threat to someone - which is the only way in almost every state I know of...) she would be there a while, but eventually, they would just let her back out again if they didn't think she was a threat to herself or others. And while the may medicate her there, if she chooses not to take the meds, she has the right to. As you know, none of us, no matter how much we love/care - we cannot fix this thing for them. As a doctor stated to me once, this is something that they have to want to do for themselves. A trained professional (which I am clearly not b/c I screw up everytime I try to keep things on an even keel for my mother, but it always ends up going haywire) should be able to gain their trust and start to open up their mind to the possibility that they have an illness. Not an easy task for a professional, let alone a normal loved one.

I don't think it's too late to have her committed, however, if that's what you choose to do (or if it came down to that). But...I know that will be hard for you as it will cause you to suffer from an insane amount of guilt - trust me, she will lay it on thick if she's anything like my mother and others I've read/heard stories about. Honestly, I'd suggest therapy for your entire family. That might help, and maybe you can use that as a way to get her to go, maybe include the therapy into her delusional way of thinking, such as convince her that you all need to go because the doctor understands what is happening and he/she can keep you all safe from harm - for example.

I hope that I've managed to give you a little bit to think about, and will def be more than happy to discuss this or your feelings further if you like.

Take care.