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If you have children, take heed...

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If you have children, take heed...

Postby MrSicily » Tue Oct 27, 2009 7:14 pm

...and get your children the help they need.

I only say this because my wife is at the beginning of DD, and we have eight children, the oldest being 15. Our oldest had a severe psychotic episode over the summer and is still not back to where he was before everything began. He has been in three different inpatient psychiatric institutions in three months, and along the way I have had a lot of time to talk to many different doctors, therapists and social workers about his background and history.

What has come through loud and clear is that since his mother is DD, he has a strong genetic predisposition for a psychosis. If you add the fact that I had cancer two years ago, you also have a very stressful situation for a child to be in, and he was only 12 -- a very vulnerable age. Cancer is probably not an issue for most, but if a parent is in a full-fledged DD episode, that would be stressful on any child. So then you would have a strong "genetic loading" and very stressful situation for a child, and the result could be a psychosis later down the road.

It didn't help that our son also smoked pot. When an adolescent smokes pot, it greatly increases the risk factor for a psychosis. You can also tell your kids that.

I only write this so those with DD spouses and children can attend to the needs of their children and get counseling for them if necessary. Looking back, I wish we had done that with our son but we didn't have that knowledge at the time, and, hey, I got better, so it seemed as if everything was fine again.

This is just something I have learned along the way with DD: there are genetic factors that are passed down to the children, and the stress of DD effects children also. I hope this helps someone!
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Re: If you have children, take heed...

Postby Desperatehopeful » Wed Oct 28, 2009 5:27 pm

Dear Mr. Sicily,

Thanks for sharing..this is my biggest fear that my children will develop DD. I try to make sure to minimize the stress level. I've noticed my daughter is very sensitive and cries very easily but can be easily consoled. If she sees me upset she'll empathize and is very concerned with my well being. She becomes very upset when she hears family arguments. Did your son display similar signs when he was younger?
Thanks,
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Last edited by Desperatehopeful on Wed Oct 28, 2009 10:20 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Re: If you have children, take heed...

Postby MrSicily » Wed Oct 28, 2009 8:37 pm

Thanks, Desperatehopeful! All of this is unfortunately on the schizophrenic spectrum, as I understand it: DD, psychosis and full-blown schizophrenia. The psychosis my son experienced was a complete break from reality, where he thought a good friend of ours had a demon, talked to a cat, thought he had special powers to do miracles, told me if I had a good back I would be pure etc. At the worse he could not complete a full sentence, was so confused he couldn't figure out whether to wear his flip-flops or his sneakers, and was aggressive toward me -- all based on a delusion about what I was going to do to him. All in all, a severe psychosis.

Before this happened, he was fine, very normal, but there were signs before the full-blown episode. The month before it happened his personality changed; he got more zealous and religiously-preoccupied, his affect was flat (little emotion), but it was a mixed bag: he accused a friend of ours for having a demon one day but apologized the next and was fine. The psychosis was setting in, but it wasn't a clear picture, because sometimes he would be ok, sometimes a bit off. So he started as a very normal 15 year old and, before our eyes, deteriorated slowly, so slowly we hardly noticed it until it hit. Then he was off the wall.

All this is on a different level than a neurosis, so if your child is crying, that might be good. I mean, you can have it difficult at home and perhaps be depressed, but at least you are still in touch with reality. My son exited this reality for a bit. This is very bad, because at this point it seems that we may be looking at schizophrenia, as the symptoms have lasted about five months, and six months marks the schizophrenia mark. Not that he has it, but with a DD mother, he does have those genes, now doesn't he?

The psychiatrists said that stress can trigger a psychosis, as it can with DD. We try to keep the stress down now, if we can. But we do have a family of eight with a three and a four year old, so it's kinda' pretty much impossible. And the stress of having our son hospitalized and disappearing before our eyes -- he became someone completely different -- brought on a major DD episode with my wife. I only hope if we can get into a less stressful mode (which is probably impossible), then perhaps her symptoms will go away. Already she is somewhat better.

I really hope it goes well with your daughter. With my cancer, it was very difficult on our three children over 10, and our son was 12. I saw how it hit them very hard. One thing I have learned through cancer and DD: if a child is caught in a crisis situation, they could very well need counseling or some type of professional help. They are little flowers, as it were, and it is difficult to be stepped on by life's situations.

About family arguments, oh boy. My wife says some really outlandish things; on one hand I don't want an argument, but on the other hand, we really can't live our family life based on someone's delusions. So I find myself caught between a rock and a hard place.

All the best to you and your daughter, as well as your husband! I didn't mean to be so long, but I hope it answered your question.

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Re: If you have children, take heed...

Postby peytonmanning18 » Fri Oct 30, 2009 10:27 pm

I worry about this too, what with my wife with her apparent DD and my having an aunt with schizophrenia my 9 year old son has genetics working against him on both sides of the family.

He is sensitive too, also cries during family arguments (one of the reasons I moved out actually, to try to reduce the stress on all of us).
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Re: If you have children, take heed...

Postby Desperatehopeful » Tue Nov 03, 2009 1:19 am

Predisposed children should be raised in a secure,non paranoid, and calm enviroment. They should be taught the importance of expressing their feelings and not to feel shame of their thoughts or bottle them up. They should learn the importance of stress management. They should be encouraged to participate in school functions and extra curricular activities. I've also heard multi vitamins, especially, Vit.C, B-complex and Omega 3 are helpful to maintain a balanced nervous system. Many children diagnosed with a mood disorder have had positive response after taking these vitamins.

I've also heard that some predisposed adolescents and young adults are prescribed a low dose anti-depressant to help manage their emotions and as a precaution to avoid a full blown psychotic episode. I've read about a psychaitrist who has recovered from schizophrenia. He has four children none of them have shown signs of mental illness but they're all taking anti depressants as precaution.

I also believe it is very important that children are taught the dangers of drugs and alcohol . They need to know that it's even more dangerous for them because of their predisposition to mental illness.

As a parent, I'm willing to try anything that I believe is positive.

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Re: If you have children, take heed...

Postby MrSicily » Wed Nov 11, 2009 2:34 am

Thanks, Desperatehopeful. I never thought of my children taking anti-depressants as a precaution against psychosis; something to think about. Perhaps that would have helped my son.

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Re: If you have children, take heed...

Postby Desperatehopeful » Wed Nov 11, 2009 8:08 pm

Dear Mr Sicily,

How are you and your family doing? I hope your son is feeling better.

Thinking of you,
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Re: If you have children, take heed...

Postby MrSicily » Wed Nov 11, 2009 8:41 pm

Thanks for asking, Desperate hopeful. My son is doing better, but by millimeters. He is far from what he used to be; almost a different person, but he is very compliant with taking his meds (zyprexia) and going to therapy and is, at 15 years old, doing his best to find his way through a major psychosis. In one sense, his life has fallen apart at the age of 15, but seems to be doing quite well under the circumstances. A little progress is better than no progress.

We've had three or four good weeks with my wife. She didn't bring up her delusions at all, I don't think: just stray paranoia thoughts, which is par for the course. She's lovely to be with when she is like this; I can handle the paranoia -- no problem. But, alas, I knew it couldn't last, and it didn't: the delusions just will not die, no matter how much reality is against them. She went out with some friends yesterday and talked about her thoughts -- I think they just about died, from what my wife told me. I sense that she is just at the beginning of all this, and our friends are just starting to get a clue; I sincerely hope the DD doesn't get much worse.

The rest of the family is good. May God preserve my children! They are so sweet, every one of their little faces, the thought of my wife's DD getting much worse is hard to digest. I'm thankful for this forum, as it really helps me in dealing with my wife, for her good.

Thanks again for asking,

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Re: If you have children, take heed...

Postby Desperatehopeful » Fri Nov 13, 2009 3:23 am

Hi MrSicily,

You've gone through so much...your strength amazes me. I'll keep you in my prayers and may God bless your children. I'm please to hear that your son is taking his meds and is on his way to recovery. Hopefully, with therapy he will learn to manage his symptoms and reduce the chances of a relapse.

wishing you brighter days,
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To Mr. Sicily

Postby virginia star » Sun Nov 29, 2009 8:41 am

I know you're not going to believe me for anything in the world, but I still want to tell you something really true about psychotropic drugs. They do not eliminate any undesirable thoughts, delusions you may call, and if they do, they do it in the expense of brain functions. Of course one does not imagine as much when his brain becomes some sort of glue.

Why not view your son from a different angle? Psychiatry is not the only way of judging people beacuse it is based on opinions only. Your son can never be expected to become a normal man you see every day. He will only become more like vegetable if you drug him. Why not let him be who he is and remain unique?
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