Well, about the only thing they have going for them at this point is that they are still somewhat less insane than my husband although that's quite debatable point
When I think about it, I think I actually wanted more to prove to *him* that he is indeed talking to them and that whatever he hears back is coming from their mouths.
Funny thing is that by now I can process things my husband thinks and says and dissociate myself enough that I don't end up being a miserable wreck each time he says or does something hurtful. But, that still doesn't work for the stuff my in-laws are sending my way - it is pretty much down to "well, he is psychotic and that's why he is saying this, but what's your excuse?"
Yesterday it suddenly dawned on me what the situation reminded me of - it was kind of "Prince of Tides" situation where the psychiatrist is considering whether her patient would be better off taking the identity of dead person, forgetting about her past and cutting off all contact with her family and living on as someone else. That's pretty much my husband's dream outcome at this moment, but he is convinced he cannot pull it off because "they" will find him wherever he goes. And, may god help me, sometimes I think that if I knew he would be reasonably happy afterwards, that would indeed be the best thing he could do, both for himself and maybe for all of us left behind, too
I do have couple of people I can talk to and I should start going to my own therapist soon. They are supportive, but in some cases I need to be careful to convey that I need to decide what to do and when. My mother, for instance, grew up with alcoholic father and this definitely affects her reaction - she can't bear to think of her grandchildren spending time in the similar sort of hell she went through. Still, she is aware I am the one that needs to make the final decision.