New Here, need to get somet off my chest.

Ok so recently I've been having these really bad triggers for cutting myself, but I don't know what the cause of them is! My 'friends' at school keep calling me an 'emo' whatever that actually is! And This is really weird but I've been hearing random, unknown noises saying to kill myself! I dunno where they come from they pop out of nowhere! An at school I'm bullied and get things thrown at me and shiz! An I will sometimes be in class and suddenly have these like day dreaming moments of me like slitting my wrists open or stabbing myself in the throat! I'm really scared and I feel so insane I feel like killing myself is the only way out now.

Ps, I've only been cutting since Christmas last year.

PLEASE HELP ME?! :'(

Hi ,

First, I just want to welcome you to the forum. I'm glad you posted and I hope you stick around and talk as much as you need to.

The symptoms you are describing are serious. Have you told anyone else about this? I would advise telling someone you can trust, like a counselor or teacher at school if not a family member? Killing yourself is NOT the only way out. This kind of thing can be treated by a professional.

And is there anyone you can tell about the bullying? That is most certainly wrong and you don't deserve to be treated that way. Cutting does not make you 'emo' ( a cruel name that I suspect implies that someone is 'too' emotional, really anyone who is 'emo' is just somebody who is going through a very tough spot emotionally.)Usually self harm has a root in some kind of trauma.

I offer you safe hugs and please PM me if you want to.

sorry I got your username mixed up I read it somewhere on the screen and somehow I thought it was yours, welcome horus

It's ok I had to get it changed cos I had my year of birth an real name, anyways back to what u posted, teachers don't treat me right, I'm inferior to them because I'm different same for all the other boys too ! and I had a rough childhood an I have major trust issues so a lot of the time I don't know who to turn to! The only person who Is actually supportive is my social worker?

I am glad you at least have a social worker who you trust Horus. Does he/she know about the cutting and voices? I want to respond more but I'm in a rough spot right now will try again later k?

She knows about the cutting an suicidal ideas/thoughts but she don't know about the voices, an sure ok! I'm in no hurry.

-- Fri Jul 27, 2012 11:04 pm --

She knows about the cutting an suicidal ideas/thoughts but she don't know about the voices, an sure ok! I'm in no hurry.

Hi

I am sorry to hear you are struggling so much. It sounds like the most important thing for you to do is to tell your social worker everything about what is going on including about hearing the voices. From what you say you dont sound too well and I think it is important you get help. Please take good care of yourself and look after yourself. It is important you share what is going on with you in 3D with someone professional.

Hugs and keep safe

Cracked

I wanted to tell her everything before, but I didn't I'm just scared, what if she has a go at me? What if she jus walks out on me an leaves? Where does that leave me? I'm just not entirely sure about how she will react? An I will try look after myself it's easier said than do though, and she has referred me to see a physiatrist every Thursday, I have already met her she is a very nice woman, I'm just nervous and I'm scared of going but I don't know why, I don't feel safe anywhere, if I go out day or night I feel like someone is following me? I then isolate myself in my room! I feel so f*cked up to be honest! :'(

It is really difficult to tell ppl things liek this because of the fear of how they will react but I would say that professionals would react OK to what you are saying. I think that they would realise you need help and try to organise for you to get it. Atm you likely feel like you are on your own and telling someone professional in 3D can help with this and let you realise you are not on your own.

Hugs

Cracked

Hello Horus, welcome!

Personally, I think you need to tell your social worker about the voices too.
I know how embarrassing and uncomfortable that can be, but you need to make sure you're getting the help you need and deserve. You have to take care of yourself!
Months ago I had to tell my old therapist about some VERY embarrassing stuff, but in the end I was glad I did it because I felt like a weight was lifted off my chest and it helped me to sort out what was going on. My biggest piece of advice to you is whatever you do, DONT BOTTLE IT UP.
Bottling things up and keeping quiet does nothing but harm in the long run.