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The New Crisis Thread

Open discussions about Cutting and Self Injury. This forum may be triggering.

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Re: The New Crisis Thread

Postby Choriandr » Wed Nov 23, 2016 12:34 am

Snaga wrote:True. And PF is where I let my drama queen out. But as I'm not myself posting an update in this thread, and am not in a crisis.... meh. I give the nice answer :mrgreen: I'll leave my whiney-butt stuff for the daily feeling thread, or the blog section. Which right now is- I'm tired of my eyelids twitching, and my neck always being tight, and always being tense and anxious and feeling as if I'm about to come unglued at any moment. I want to run real fast and run away. I want to cry, even though I ceased to be able to several years ago. I want to just go ahead and die and get it over with. I don't want to die. I don't care. I do care. I don't care. I'm scared. I want to SH so bad 'cause it feels so relieving. I'm everything all at once, and none of it. I'm a mess.

But for me, that's normal.


:lol: Can relate. Not laughing at your pain and discomfort, just that I know what you mean. Dunno how we've managed it so far, but looks like neither one of us has fallen apart entirely. Often suggested, but I do find that yoga or walking - any kind of heavy physical activity really - helps with that wound up feeling. At least for me....sometimes. :roll: (hug)

voracious lemon I'm sorry to hear you're struggling like that. Seems so hard to find an outlet for those feelings, or lack there of, depending on the case. (hug) for you as well if it's alright.

Feeling kind of unstable myself. Managed to go 24 hours with no si, but not holding my breath about hitting 48. There's so much happening that I'm helpless about that I don't know what else to do anymore. All the other coping mechanisms aren't helping either. Not any of the adaptive ones - self destructive ones are not helping either, but trying to avoid most of those. Just seems like things keep getting worse and nothing ever seems to improve.
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Re: The New Crisis Thread

Postby MentalBoy13579 » Thu Nov 24, 2016 12:56 am

Today was not a good day. Nearly SI'd this morning, and experienced a rare bout of true self hate and desire to die, not just a fleeting moment, an entire hour, which is at least 6x longer than my previous record. Currently putting myself through my own personal form of therapy which involves, (not Self-harming, duh), forcing myself to see the beauty of life and the true desire I have repressed (along with most, if not all, of my other emotions and feelings and desires) to live.
"We're all mad here." -The Cheshire Cat

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Depression
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Re: The New Crisis Thread

Postby MentalBoy13579 » Thu Nov 24, 2016 1:33 am

Just discovered that I have lost another friend to suicide, the third this year. All three of them were men I loved dearly. Would have died for. Feeling the urges again... My usual "cool-down" didn't work
"We're all mad here." -The Cheshire Cat

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Re: The New Crisis Thread

Postby Snaga » Thu Nov 24, 2016 6:03 am

Stay safe! Hugs...
ISFP. And a bunch of weirdness.
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Re: The New Crisis Thread

Postby Choriandr » Thu Nov 24, 2016 10:15 am

I'm sorry you lost someone you cared so deeply for. And three in one year is horrible. (not that one isn't, but you know) Would be having urges too, strong emotion and loss in particular is a trigger, then for it to be suicide for some reason makes the trigger 10x worse. Got nothing really helpful, but hear you and wishing you some strength.
You're only given one little spark of madness. You mustn't lose it.
Choriandr(14-16)(and Lina)
Cassie(7)(and Claire)
Willow(?)(and a slew of faeries)
Carol (22)(and Jo)
Cassidy (11-12)(and Jenna)
"Prudence" (36)(and Chris)
And more coming forward, we're still meeting us. :lol:
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Re: The New Crisis Thread

Postby MentalBoy13579 » Thu Nov 24, 2016 10:51 pm

Choriandr wrote:I'm sorry you lost someone you cared so deeply for. And three in one year is horrible. (not that one isn't, but you know) Would be having urges too, strong emotion and loss in particular is a trigger, then for it to be suicide for some reason makes the trigger 10x worse. Got nothing really helpful, but hear you and wishing you some strength.


Thank you. Currently trying to relax and not do what I really want to do (Which isn't SI'ing right now)

-- Thu Nov 24, 2016 5:53 pm --

Snaga wrote:Stay safe! Hugs...


Thanks...

And Wednesday Addams... nice choice, given today, it's even more suiting.
"We're all mad here." -The Cheshire Cat

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Re: The New Crisis Thread

Postby Snaga » Fri Nov 25, 2016 6:38 am

Not Thanksgiving without my Wednesday Addams avvy.....
ISFP. And a bunch of weirdness.
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Re: The New Crisis Thread

Postby AnnieOymous » Wed Nov 30, 2016 9:08 am

Choriandr wrote:Hi Annie :D When I'm trying not to si it's important to me to have some other coping mechanism or outlet. Overwhelming emotion is a big trigger for me too. idk I'd say don't start and you won't have to quit, but I know that's not really useful at all. Sorry you feel like you scared your therapist. I get that feeling too sometimes with the new lady. If being asked if you're feeling like si or suicide causes you trouble, perhaps tell her that? Maybe she'll stop using it as a greeting. Far as I know (and I'm no professional) there aren't meds for self injury specifically, but it's usually a symptom related to another problem. Lots of times if you can do something about that problem the symptom decreases, and I think that's where meds come in. Some of us need them, some people don't, but it's really up to you in the end whether they're worthwhile for you or not, you know?


Hi. Sorry it took me so long to reply, I had to travel for the holiday.

I agree, I think having something else to reach for is probably the best idea. My therapist recommended a rock, because I've been using play dough and that failed me utterly when I got overwhelmed. I guess she thought something more solid would be easier to cling to, to me it seemed kind of lame. Worth a shot I guess?

Before I left for Thanksgiving I managed to be truthful with her about my really bad day I originally posted about. I felt really encouraged after someone said on here that me just saying I am starting to get urges to hurt myself wouldn't be enough for her to commit me or anything. Which, obviously she didn't, so that is good. I feel like I can trust her a little bit more not to lock me up at the first sign of trouble. Honestly, I think she has been hounding me about it so much because she expects it? She didn't seem surprised when I told her. So maybe she'll stop trying to get me to talk about it constantly now that I've shown her I actually will, I dunno.

I still haven't made the call on the medication, but it really helps to have some outside opinions on it so I'm not just going through the same ideas in my head over and over again. I think the meds she wants to put me on would be for depression. I honestly don't know if it would be better to get meds or anxiety or depression, but I guess that would be something to talk to a doctor about.

I think it will help being more open with her too. Depression has been a big problem for me this semester, but i'm honestly thinking anxiety is what's at the root of the SI urges. The feeling I have when I want to start are never sadness or self-loathing, its more tension than anything. What made me seek help in the first place was these insistent repeating thoughts (not like voices, my own personal thoughts) that I would hurt myself or worse, not even wanting to, just that it was going to happen. I honestly think just from Web MD reading that my issue might be more O.C.D based, what with the repeating thoughts/ideas I can't stop that bother me all the time. They get worse when I'm nervous too, like if I'm around too many people or I feel put on the spot by a teacher.

I'm rambling a bit now, sorry. I guess I just wanted to follow up on your reply and thank you for the advice. These online posts make me feel so much better.
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Re: The New Crisis Thread

Postby smurf » Mon Jan 02, 2017 11:13 pm

Really sh1t day. Expecting to be suspended tomorrow, hey effing ho...... well done me on massive screw up.

Own stuff death is knocking. Urges are strong regardless of what happened today.

I'm not emotionally distressed, so therefore deemed to make an unwise choice.
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Re: The New Crisis Thread

Postby Snaga » Tue Jan 03, 2017 12:53 am

Glad to hear from you, Annie!

A lot of my SH is rooted in anxiety, I think.


Sorry to hear that, Smurf! Maybe not, I'm hoping for the best... Hugs....
ISFP. And a bunch of weirdness.
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