How do you feel today? *may trigger

I don't feel good. I've been self harming pretty often and I'm out of one of my meds (will be able to get a refill in a couple of days). I feel insignificant because I feel like I'm bound to antidepressants for life.

Feeling better lately.

There's a lingering feeling of something going horribly wrong. It is a little painful feeling, but fading over time.

Making changes/progress for life. It is a bit exciting, actually.

We have been struggling with thoughts of self-harm pretty frequently. Fortunately, thus far, our protector Alter has been able to distract us / talk us out of it but we are afraid our new alter Evora will hurt us because she won't listen to Aloysius.

pain is a cleanser it focuses the mind. need to focus right now everyone is plotting against me

hi everyone, haven't ventured over here in a while. We are struggling too.

jody I never thought of it that way but it makes sense to me. SH and pain as a distraction and/or source of focus. Otherwise the things we are trying to avoid are so painful.

littleDaria, I think you have a safety plan in place, right? we have now now, not quite complete but fairly. We have a newer (like in the past 10 months or so) infatuation of dying by train. bad state of mind + need to take train = plan starts before leaving the house. Maybe some of you are struggling more than you know about the family events this weekend. Give them some compassion, tell them it is ok for them to feel that way. Validation goes a long way. And that you all just need to pull together through the weekend.

rosypie - what have I become? Be kind to yourself. I seems like you are probably an extremely strong and resilient person that now is face to face with some things you left behind. In my experience they come out again when you have kids. for a lot of reasons. are you in therapy?

Sorry to pop in and pop out.

I haven't posted here before, but have been posting in the self harm forum for a while. I'm not coping well at present and need to escape my head as focusing on my problems leads me to further problems. I'm stuck in a vicious circle.

having one of those days where I would rather be lying with the tulip bulbs.

i haven't cut in ages, years to be exact. And I just broke that. and I feel really guilty saying this but it feels soooo ######6 good. I know it is not good to go down this path again but in this moment I feel so much better.

Sorry to hear that, Sams... Know what you mean, tho. I think it kinda shows the addiction nature of SH- like a drug user taking that hit, or an alcoholic taking that drink, even after a long time clean- all the (bad) pleasurable sensations come rushing back, don't they? All the more reason we should start away from it, but hey earlier tonight I come close to burning myself... Wanted to so bad and I know it would feel so relieving. Oh well, gonna try not to.

Take care of the ouchie and hugs.

thanks Snaga - you are so right. The sensations felt so good. and trying to sleep and feeling the stinging. so much easier to focus on than the shitstorm around me