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NOT SURE WHAT TO DO

Open discussions about Cutting and Self Injury. This forum may be triggering.

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Re: NOT SURE WHAT TO DO

Postby TROJAN WARRIOR » Fri Oct 07, 2016 2:50 pm

I have a Community Psychiatric Nurse appointment on 23rd November. Yes, I know that is weeks away, but that is the UK system for you. Immigrants come into this country and get everything handed to them on a plate, and those of us that have lived her all our lives, have to wait.

I know the District Nurses mean well, but in this mode that I'm in at present, I can't see that they are trying to help. I'm hoping the District Nurse who said she was going to talk to one of the GPs about getting some anti-depressants prescribed, has had some success, but I've not heard anything yet.

Having the carers in is helpful while my back is out of sorts, but that is playing its part on my mental strain as well, and that is just a trigger for me to reach for the cider at night.
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Re: NOT SURE WHAT TO DO

Postby realityhere » Sat Oct 08, 2016 6:57 pm

"Immigrants come into this country and get everything handed to them on a plate, and those of us that have lived her all our lives, have to wait."

Same here over the pond. Nothing new. :roll:

Well, that appointment is a ways off yet, but at least you've got one. Hope you're doing better physically at least, and it will take a while for the back to return to normal. Are you able to get physical therapy/ massages for the back or not? Any luck with an anti-depressant prescription?
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Re: NOT SURE WHAT TO DO

Postby TROJAN WARRIOR » Sat Oct 08, 2016 7:38 pm

I'm going to wait until I see my GP to see what she thinks about the back, because with me having spinal osteoporosis in my spine, physiotherapy may not be appropriate. I think I need to fine out what is going on in my back before any treatment is applied.

No anti-depressants yet. Going to mention it to my GP on 13th, as it is possible the District Nurse has forgotten.

The District Nurse that came in today came before the care arrived, did my dressing, and then I had a shower. That made the dressing wet, so I had to put another dressing on. Thenurse has made the suggestion that because of the fluid that is leaking out down below that the nurses come on alternate days, and that I should wear an incontinence pad in the meantime to keep the leakage containedand that I should change the pad 5-6 times a day. Good idea in theory, but she is over-looking the fact that requires me to get on my bed 5-6 times a day on top of the transferring I'm doing in the morning and at bedtime, and it also required me to get my pants and jeans up and down five or six times a day. It's like she has missed the point of why I'm having the carers in the first time - because I have a bad back and it is getting worse with the current level of transferring. I'm going to see which nurse comes in on Monday, and see what they say.
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Re: NOT SURE WHAT TO DO

Postby TROJAN WARRIOR » Mon Oct 10, 2016 12:53 pm

I think the District Nurse who said she was going to talk to the GP about some anti-depressants, has forgotten all about them. I'm really having a tough time mentally with the mixed messages I'm getting from the nurses at present. One says something and then another one comes and contradicts what the first one said. The nurse that was on over the weekend told me that the nurse that came in today was bringing some different dressings with her, so I was optimistic. The nurse came in this morning and she had nothing in the way of dressings with her. :evil: What she did say she had, was pads! I made it clear to the nurses that I am not prepared to wear pads, as it sets me back years mentally to a time in my life I would rather forget.

I had kept the pads that I sleep on at night to show the nurse how much of this literally bloody fluid I'm leaking overnight, but she didn't seem as concerned as the carer was this morning. She was so concerned, she phoned her boss to let her know what is happening. While the District Nurse was doing my dressing today, I got some pain, which came as a shock, especially as it is in an area I thought was healed. It turns out it hasn't quite healed! :x This year has been so hard on me psychologically that I REALLY need a break, but it seems I'm not going to get one for a while.

Felt rough last night, so just had one can of cider.
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Re: NOT SURE WHAT TO DO

Postby TROJAN WARRIOR » Wed Oct 19, 2016 6:32 pm

Have just come out of hospital after an 8 day stay, as I was bleeding for around three weeks from the sore I have down below. Life in hospitals tends to be very difficult for me, as I need a fair bit of help from the nursing staff due to my disability. When I go into hospital, I tend to lose my coping mechanism.

During the time I was in, I continued to bleed, and the only treatment was iron tablets, antibiotics to treat any infection and a daily dressing on the sore. It is a lot smaller than it was, but still needs attention, and so the same old routine is going to happen again now that I am home. Carers and District Nurses coming in.

I was very low while in hospital, and the staff arranged for me to see a Community Psychiatric Nurse. She asked me quite a few questions, and then asked "Have you had any suicidal thoughts". I replied "Yes". We talked about how I would kill myself, and I said "I would drink myself to death as I'm too chicken to do it any other way." She prescribed me anti-depressants.

Now I have an appointment to see someone on Friday, who is also in the mental health field, and I've just got to hope that something starts to improve, but that is dependant on whether I can resist the cider that I still have left, and the 'happy pills' start to work.

I had a hard time in hospital, and I feel I need to find myself again. That is going to take time, but now I am back home, I feel like I've basically been thrown back into the problems I had before, only I feel more vulnerable, as Mum said some hurtful things to me while I was in hospital, and she doesn't realise how much they hurt. The only difference now, is that I have to try my damdest to stop turning to the cider when things get on top of me, and that is going to be really tough.
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Re: NOT SURE WHAT TO DO

Postby TROJAN WARRIOR » Sat Oct 22, 2016 5:50 pm

Saw the CPN who has been assigned to me at home on Friday. The first session was basically identifying the problems I have. Not sure how long I will have her for, but she is coming again on Friday of next week. Sadly, I can't say that the suicidal thoughts have gone, but I feel the boiling pot is now simmering.
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Re: NOT SURE WHAT TO DO

Postby smurf » Sat Oct 22, 2016 7:23 pm

Do you now have access to crisis team too? just a random thought.

Stay strong

Hugs
The End!
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Re: NOT SURE WHAT TO DO

Postby TROJAN WARRIOR » Sun Oct 23, 2016 10:46 am

I have a Community Psychiatric Nurse, Smurf, which is a person I can talk to about my feelings and problems. She helps me finds solutions to the problems. Only had one session so far so it's early days.

I'm not feeling as low as I was but I can't say the thoughts of ending it all have vanished. They are still in the back of my mind.
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Re: NOT SURE WHAT TO DO

Postby TROJAN WARRIOR » Sun Oct 30, 2016 6:12 pm

I've noticed today that my mood is slipping again. The only thing that I can put it down to, is the fact that the suicidal feelings I had, have had a bigger impact on me than I thought. I'm still having district nurses in daily to dress the sore, but the pain seems to have increased again, not much, but it's definitely there. I'm still having carers.

I'm still losing blood through the sore, and this is an ongoing concern for me. The anti-depressants seem to have picked me up from the downward spiral I had in hospital, so this is something I wasn't expecting.
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Re: NOT SURE WHAT TO DO

Postby smurf » Sun Oct 30, 2016 6:49 pm

Hugs, sorry all I have
The End!
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