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Self harming when not upset *TW*

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Self harming when not upset *TW*

Postby sh605 » Fri May 06, 2016 2:12 am

Today I cut myself and I wasn't upset or anything. I only felt kind of bad after I did it because I know my family will be upset. I also do it when I'm upset but a lot of the time I do it just because I get the urge to every once in a while, especially if I see pictures of certain things or if I see something that I could use to hurt myself, both of which happened this week. I was really uncertain of even posting here because thinking and talking about it might make me do it again, I don't know. I guess I'm just wondering if this is something anyone else deals with, wanting to hurt yourself just because.
Last edited by Echinacea on Fri May 06, 2016 7:31 am, edited 1 time in total.
Reason: Added *TW*
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Re: Self harming when not upset *TW*

Postby Emmi » Fri May 06, 2016 12:28 pm

Hi
for me, the reasons why I cut can vary. Mostly its because of anxiety but sometimes its as a punishment or because I feel unclean or something else.
So I don't have to be upset to have urges to cut, and urges can come from anywhere.
Do you have any help at all? Have you tried alternative coping skills?
I hope you managed to not cut again.
Keep safe
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Re: Self harming when not upset *TW*

Postby sh605 » Fri May 06, 2016 8:46 pm

I did again this morning only because of the fight I had last night over it. I have had help when I was a kid I was in a lot of therapy. I don't feel like it helped much because I've never met a doctor I felt like I could trust. I know my issues are deep enough and I've been off my meds long enough that if I went to a doctor now they would lock me up and I can't do that my partner wouldn't be able to pay all our bills on his own. I've tried rubber bands and ice but it only works for a little while.
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Re: Self harming when not upset *TW*

Postby Emmi » Sat May 07, 2016 4:29 pm

I'm sorry you haven't found a doctor you felt you could trust, sometimes it takes a long while to find someone. Why did you stop taking your meds, didn't they help?
There is a good list in the alternatives sticky thread, maybe you can have a look at it and see if there is anything you can try. Ice and rubberbands don't work so well for me either, I just get more triggered by it.
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Re: Self harming when not upset *TW*

Postby Snaga » Sun May 08, 2016 4:52 am

Ice and rubber bands don't do $#%^ for me. And rubber bands hurt more than the kinds of burns I usually do- it's not just about pain. It's about the perception of damaging myself.

But back to the original post. Shoot yeah sweet pea. I SH cause I'm anxious. I have to self-punish. I'm super tired and have to keep going. I'm angry at myself. I'm feeling the need to.

It's an addiction. Addictions don't always need a reason, sweets. Sometimes it's an itch that just needs to be scratched.
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