Help :(

More hugs. Feeling like everything is out of control is sure scary. Can you think of any other of shifting control back to you? I know it doesnt feel like this at all atm but cutting does not give you back control. It takes it away more cause you succumb to an urge. Stay strong Cracked things change all the time and its just a matter of getting by right now.

Thank you so much. I have managed to get to bed so will try sleep.

Thank you

Huge hugs

Cracked

Feeling out of control really is scary and I understand what you mean about it being a default.
Can you reach out for some urgent support tomorrow?
I hope you manage to get some sleep, very well done with managing to get to bed!
Huge hugs

Emmi wrote:Feeling out of control really is scary and I understand what you mean about it being a default.
Can you reach out for some urgent support tomorrow?
I hope you manage to get some sleep, very well done with managing to get to bed!
Huge hugs

Thank you so much Emmi

I am not sure about the urgent support as I am seeing the psych I think next week so probably cant expedite that anymore. I could maybe try calling the duty CPN at my clinic. Will see how things go.

I got a bit of sleep tho feel wiped out today

huge hugs

Cracked

good that you have an for next week at least, even though that can feel like forever when you are in a bad spot. Good idea with the duty CPN, try calling them if you feel you need to, or the Samaritans.
I'm glad you got a little bit of sleep, maybe you can take a nap later?
take care and try to be kind to yourself!
Hugs

Glad to hear you got a bit of sleep Cracked. I agree with Emmi please reach out if you need urgent help. Hugs, take it easy. <3

I'm glad you managed to sleep a bit too Cracked.

Things being out of control is a scary feeling- hugs. Really hope this finds you safe.

Please reach out for the extra help in 3D- I agree with Emmi and Im-pure too. You can get through it.

Sending huge hugs
Lily

Thank you - hugs to you all

**Trigger**

I got blades ready and in front of me last night. I did not cut with them. Today has been a very intense day for various reasons and they are next to me atm. I am not sure what to do. I am having lots of thoughts about cutting "properly" and wanting the damage I could inflict. However I realise this could have horrible consequences eg on work. So I need to try not to but I have got all these thoughts going on in my head. I also am having some horrible thoughts about spiders in my hair and also suicide bombers on the bus. These are really scaring and distressing me. I am wondering if cutting would help with them. To switch focus.

Cracked

Hunni I'm sorry things are so bleak at the moment and that you are having these experiences I know how scary that must be.

I can understand the thoughts re bombers on the bus given the amount of news coverage on this at the moment it sounds like it is something your brain has fixated on .... Would maybe avoiding the news etc help a little and watch something else instead maybe something that will take your focus or maybe trying a sudoku or something as it will give your brain something active to do and will push out those thoughts.

I think as well you have identified yourself a really good reason not to cut whether it's the best reason or not I don't know but it's certainly one I relate to. You have worked far too hard yo jeopardise your job you've worked through so much and come ridiculously far to let cutting win now and I know you know that and I'm not being harsh but is it worth sabotaging your job that you've worked hard to get and prove so many people wrong. How would you feel if you cut and then because of that weren't able to work anymore? I know it sounds harsh but I think that is potentially the consequence of that and I know what a devastating feeling that can be.

Can you find something else to fix your focus onto rather than yo cutting it won't achieve anything and I think deep down you know that too ......

Know I am here anytime for anything and am cheering you on to get you through this bit of $#%^ you are an incredible person and deserve happiness instead of distress hugest hugs xxx

Restored - thank you so much - you are such a good friend. I don't want to lose my job.

Thank you so much for your kind and compassionate response. Sorry this reply is short falling asleep

Huge hugs

Cracked