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How to deal with self-hatred

Open discussions about Cutting and Self Injury. This forum may be triggering.

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How to deal with self-hatred

Postby njohns321 » Tue Mar 17, 2015 12:42 am

Man I feel so bad for the admins for this forum...like it's so much desperation, and I feel like they're probably the only ones trying to give encouragement and everything. It must be really overwhelming. Thanks for that.

So sorry for another post like that, but I'm just wondering how people have come to love and accept themselves. I hate myself so much. Like even when I'm not depressed I can hardly stand to look at myself in the mirror. I think this is common with a lot of self-harm, and I think the only way you can get better is by learning to love yourself (I think it's funny how some people think the actual self-harm is the real problem)...I have no idea how to do this though.
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Re: How to deal with self-hatred

Postby tiredofmyself » Tue Mar 17, 2015 4:25 am

doing acts that are healthy for me.

talking to myself. there was a reason i indulged in acts that now cause self-hatred. the more i learn why i did those acts, the more i feel okay with them.

talking to myself helps that it's ok. i cannot change the past, its ok if i've done those acts.
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Re: How to deal with self-hatred

Postby njohns321 » Fri Mar 20, 2015 4:44 pm

I've actually found that working out helps. I mean I'm literally helping my body rather than destroying it. Plus I just feel better and look better...I have more confidence and everything.
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Re: How to deal with self-hatred

Postby Im-pure » Sat Mar 21, 2015 12:02 am

Its all internal. i believe a big part of self confidence is really self knowledge, just learning about yourself and getting to know the in and outs. For me it was helpful to become aware of the fact i am really all i have, and i have to take care of myself.
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Re: How to deal with self-hatred

Postby skeleton-countess » Sat Mar 21, 2015 2:12 am

I have a big problem with self-hatred and I'm drowning in it right now :cry:
I've accepted most parts of myself but for some reason I still have bad self esteem. I'm a huge perfectionist so whenever I fail at something or do something wrong I start hating myself and feeling really ashamed.

But you're right it must take a lot to be a mod/admin here....thanks to the staff for all their hard work :)
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Re: How to deal with self-hatred

Postby CrackedGirl » Sat Mar 21, 2015 11:21 am

Thank you guys for your kind words

In terms of dealing with self hatred and loving yourself it is difficult. For me it has taken steps very gradually- baby steps to get to a place where I love myself and value myself. mostly through therapy but also getting to know my illness and myself better too as this helps in understanding yourself. And understanding yourself means that you can see where your behaviours are coming from and work on those and also on extending compassion to ourselves.

Also treat yourself - be nice to yourself and reward yourself for things. You matter.

Huge hugs

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Re: How to deal with self-hatred

Postby lilyfairy » Sat Mar 21, 2015 11:54 am

I wanted to say thankyou for your kind words too guys.

njohns321 wrote:I've actually found that working out helps. I mean I'm literally helping my body rather than destroying it. Plus I just feel better and look better...I have more confidence and everything.
I've found this too. As I've gotten back to a healthier weight and started to build a little bit of muscle, I've been beating myself up far less- at least over that issue anyhow. I feel comfortable with that one now and it's given me a little bit of confidence back. I still have a long way to go on not beating myself up about other things though. It will get there. Starting to understand where those things come from and being able to identify them is the first step though.

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Re: How to deal with self-hatred

Postby Snaga » Sun Mar 22, 2015 7:00 am

The mods and admins in the SH are great, no doubt about it.

I used to really hate myself, and probably don't really like myself now but I've learned to live with myself, usually. Eventually I just got older and the angst either got grown out of or burned itself out. Meh
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Re: How to deal with self-hatred

Postby Im-pure » Mon Mar 23, 2015 1:15 am

snaga2.0 wrote:Eventually I just got older and the angst either got grown out of or burned itself out. Meh


I think thats kind of what happened with me too, to some extent... :roll:
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Re: How to deal with self-hatred

Postby hattalu » Tue Mar 24, 2015 2:21 am

a lot of you guys have said a lot of what helps me.

@tiredofmyself: I also think talking helps a lot. Sometimes a person just needs to hear some kind words and I think it's perfectly fine to hear those nice things from oneself.
@sanga2.0 and @Im-pure: I agree, once I was out of high school I stopped hating myself so much.

Another thing I find that helps me love myself more is when I pamper myself and do self-care. Like painting my nails, taking a long bath and putting on nice smelling lotion after, going for a little cruise on my bike, making some tea for myself, watching the clouds / sitting outside when it's nice out, etc... the list goes on and on. You can find tons of ideas online and practicing this stuff regularly definitely makes me feel better about myself.
My inbox is always open. Feel free to message me if you need to vent. ❤
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