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muttz269 wrote:I don't think I've REALLY learned any real coping mechanisms or really addressed the root reasons why I SH in the first place. I think I'm only just realizing that by stopping SH I was really just going hulk-mode with the willpower but not actually addressing the real problem
muttz269 wrote:Well...I relapsed.
Not too bad, I'm fine. I just hit critical mass with the stress and too many things went down at once and I just snapped. Today was just the last straw...we had an insane monsoon and my basement flooded, which I was trying to deal with when I realized my dog had stolen the swiffer mop pad behind my back and ate it. I got really scared she is going to get a blockage and need surgery and I just couldn't take the boulder on my chest and I cut. I just needed to have the white noise/numbness that I have after SH. I'm so tired, I just want to feel nothing for a little bit. I wish I wasn't this way.
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