Joe, you're a great person to give advice, because you've been there, you've lived this. It's helpful to hear from you what does help you and what you've found useless. Everyone's different, but just hearing that other people have successfully changed, or are moving on in some positive direction can be so helpful for the people lurking in this thread, not sure what to post, and the people who know exactly what you're talking about because they're there too.
Good for you for being so determined to be honest, and it's so great that you have an amazing gf to back you up in that, too. Please do keep posting.
"We think too much and feel too little.
More than machinery, we need humanity.
More than cleverness, we need kindness and gentleness."
From The Great Dictator — Charlie Chaplin