Lying (And possibly other things)

Hello. I don't really know where else to go here because I do not have anyone close that I can share this information with. I have been a liar for a every long time in my life. However, the last colossal-sized lie that I've told was nearly a year ago. Lately it's been mild things.

It started off simple and sweet when I would tell my parents things like I hear people in the house when they weren't home. Claiming that I saw a dog in the house. Then in 7th grade I mutilated my left arm. I did not really cut myself for much of a valid reason. I did this again my 9th grade summer after a big break-up with a boyfriend of mine. Well, I say that it was a big break up but in reality he and I only dated for two months and then broke up because of a simple fight and I still to this day tell people that it ###$ me up. I cut again a few months after that on my thigh but this time I was more conscious of the fact that I was doing this on purpose. I would lie about a lot of little things too but one of the biggest lies I told is when I told my psychology teacher in high-school that I was schizophrenic. Depression is something that has entered my life about four times now. I have a psychiatrist who has me on anxiety and bipolar medicine but he does not know the truth about the things I've just said about myself. I also told him that I was seeing things but I told him that they went away. He is concerned that I have bipolar disorder but I don't know. I am not afraid to lie to my parents, to teachers, or to friends. I always measure and weigh situations to see what I can get out of it and I usually think in a selfish attitude but I thrive off of other people and constantly seek validation. To contrast this I do sometimes feel like an introvert because of how I tend to withdraw.


Sorry if I sort of rambled on. I just am at a certain point in life where I need to discuss certain things and this seems like my best bet.