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The FULL Explanation as to WHY Lying Addicts Lie

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Re: The FULL Explanation as to WHY Lying Addicts Lie

Postby just_want_to_help » Tue Nov 03, 2015 8:23 pm

Hello, I am new to this site and was hoping to perhaps get advice on this compulsive lying topic. I've been dating my boyfriend for almost a year now, and throughout the year I've noticed some drastic differences in a lot of the stories he's told me and a lot of inconsistencies with really everything he's told me. Just last week I confronted him about his lying and he started freaking out, first trying to blame me for him lying to me, and then admitting to lying to me and everyone else he's ever been with. I love this guy and I don't want to lose him, and I definitely don't want to lose him over something like lying. I understand this is an addiction and I understand he can get help. I'm not about to give up on him.

His mom is the exact same way, and so it's truly really the only thing he's ever grown up with - lying. His mother was also not the best caretaker for him, so he did not have the best childhood. It wasn't the worst childhood, but it definitely wasn't the best childhood. But he's got really low self=esteem and doesn't think too highly of himself at all, and I'm pretty sure that's the main reason he lies. He wants to appear better than what he is because he fears his true self isn't good enough for anything or anyone.

Even though I think that's the main reason he lies, I do think there are lots of other reasons as well for why he lies. When I confronted him about it, and once he knew I wasn't 'ripping his head' off or 'tearing him a new one' so to speak, he calmed down a bit and I could see his actual true emotion - I could see he was sorry and I could see he never meant to hurt me. I told him I still wanted to be with him and that I still love him and I want to work on this problem together. I just need someone to tell me it's worth it. I love him, yes, and I do want to spend my life with him, but I also know I can't do that if I can't trust him all the time. I know he's not meaning to hurt me and I know he loves me, I think I just need some hope in this.
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Re: The FULL Explanation as to WHY Lying Addicts Lie

Postby emily struddles » Sat Jul 30, 2016 2:12 pm

Hi can you help someone who's dug her grave already? Is there a way to erase memories or understanding what caused the lying or how to avoid this problem for another new young person. I'd like to dig deep and question why kids lie. What are they scared of what did they do so bad?
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Re: The FULL Explanation as to WHY Lying Addicts Lie

Postby Fratelli » Sun Jul 31, 2016 1:33 am

but it might all be lies though
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Re: The FULL Explanation as to WHY Lying Addicts Lie

Postby Liz65 » Sun Feb 05, 2017 5:05 pm

This is the first time I have read about lying in such a supportive and understanding way. Parts of the explanation are me down to a T. I have lost so much through lying. I feel very alone and trapped now. I have used the mental health services to get some form of support and attention, but only through my lies. Is there anywhere that I can have anonymous 1 to 1 support and advice. I feel so ashamed by my lying. I am scared of opening up to everyone. I cut myself off from the world because I am frightened of continued lying. I just can't seem to stop, because I either want the attention or I don't want to let people into my life because I will just continue lying. I am so trapped. I would be so grateful for some guidance please.
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Re: The FULL Explanation as to WHY Lying Addicts Lie

Postby alexhoff3 » Wed Feb 22, 2017 4:36 pm

I have always wondered about this... I had a friend in college who loved to make stuff up about all his cars, money, and planes. This post opened my eyes a little bit. I just wonder really how to talk to him about it? I like him for him... not all his money he claims to have that I know is false. Its really annoying.
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Re: The FULL Explanation as to WHY Lying Addicts Lie

Postby alexhoff3 » Thu Feb 23, 2017 12:56 pm

Anybody know ways to fix this?
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