Hello, I am new to this site and was hoping to perhaps get advice on this compulsive lying topic. I've been dating my boyfriend for almost a year now, and throughout the year I've noticed some drastic differences in a lot of the stories he's told me and a lot of inconsistencies with really everything he's told me. Just last week I confronted him about his lying and he started freaking out, first trying to blame me for him lying to me, and then admitting to lying to me and everyone else he's ever been with. I love this guy and I don't want to lose him, and I definitely don't want to lose him over something like lying. I understand this is an addiction and I understand he can get help. I'm not about to give up on him.
His mom is the exact same way, and so it's truly really the only thing he's ever grown up with - lying. His mother was also not the best caretaker for him, so he did not have the best childhood. It wasn't the worst childhood, but it definitely wasn't the best childhood. But he's got really low self=esteem and doesn't think too highly of himself at all, and I'm pretty sure that's the main reason he lies. He wants to appear better than what he is because he fears his true self isn't good enough for anything or anyone.
Even though I think that's the main reason he lies, I do think there are lots of other reasons as well for why he lies. When I confronted him about it, and once he knew I wasn't 'ripping his head' off or 'tearing him a new one' so to speak, he calmed down a bit and I could see his actual true emotion - I could see he was sorry and I could see he never meant to hurt me. I told him I still wanted to be with him and that I still love him and I want to work on this problem together. I just need someone to tell me it's worth it. I love him, yes, and I do want to spend my life with him, but I also know I can't do that if I can't trust him all the time. I know he's not meaning to hurt me and I know he loves me, I think I just need some hope in this.