But!! Besides all the damage this has done to me mentally and physically, now and in the future... Something I am really struggling with is the defenders of this. Males who say "i am glad I am cut" or try to justify their abuse, try to make out like it's no big deal.
Uhh, though it's the same as everything else - It may be that they live in an area that does not promote critically thinking and they are hence handicapped. I'm not saying i'm the smartest or most knowledgeable guy ever (despite my sig, that is not serious). But I feel i'm looking at most people with contempt. There are some great people in this world that I admire. But most are terrible, despite their intentions and cannot think critically at all.
That's why we have parents in hysteria about protecting their boys from anything and everything, while only a few years earlier paying an old man to fondle and cut their genitals up.
I do remember my mum protecting me from various media. But seriously. None of that was needed. She was a ######6 idiot. She was one of those over-protective parents (though not in the ballpark of religious "protection") and it's so ironic really. I didn't need any of that! all i needed protection from was her and my fathers idiotic decision to mutilate me. Nothing she protected me from would have done me worse than getting my genitals cut up.
Now it seems perhaps a majority of men have remained in denial regarding their abuse. It makes me wonder whether if we told all abuse victims that what happened to them is perfectly ok and normal, if that would make the majority of them feel fine. Or do genitally mutilated men who do not acknowledge their abuse suffer underlying mental anguish?
Now victims of similar acts of abuse deserve and would legally receive compensation. Which is why I am not paying my mother one cent to live with her despite her pleas. I will wait until she gets my father involved (they are divorced) and all three of us sit down. I will then tell them how un-forgivable what they have done is. My father is cut too, though I do like him as a father, I will not protect his feelings in this regard. As a cut male he should have figured out what it was about by the time he was 30 and I was sliding out of my moms hole.
I do often has some confusion of sexuality. I feel worthless as a guy. Cut penises are not as pleasurable for women in many regards.
This being one example of a man who has restored:
"I always thought sex was supposed to feel good and hurt at the same time. Now it just feels good." Same for me. We grew closer as a couple and me more confident as a lover because I experienced and understood at last what she meant when she talked about orgasms moving through her body in waves, from head to toe, and I experienced first hand the full body orgasms I had been giving her but unable to have myself. I realized, Man, my dick does that for her--? I am the $#%^! Before restoring, I thought she was BSing me about orgasms because mine felt just a little better than having a good piss.
I do like that there is that little hope. I can restore and perhaps not be totally hopeless at pleasuring a woman if i'm ever to get that opportunity.
But back to the gender problems. I have become confused and have often thought I want to be a woman. I've shaved my legs in some attempt and sadly my legs simply look more like that of a 10 year old boy than a females. I have done research into the specific characteristics that differentiate males and females. Different positioning of muscle mass in the thighs and ass. Different bone structures of course. I realise I can never be a woman nor do I want surgeries in some attempt to become a pseudo-female. SO I feel sexless. I can't be a man or a woman.
As for my original point on male abuse deniers.. I feel like I can't be at peace with this issue until society recognises this abuse. I mean for example recently in the media a 20 something year old man had sex with a 14 year old. The girls parents permitted it and did not care, yet the police somehow found out and the man was obviously prosecuted. Regardless of what you think about adult-teen sex (So much more complicated than people make out) I cannot take anyone seriously who will call a 20 year old dude engaging in sex with a teen many bad names and be disgusted by the behaviour, yet will not care about baby boys being fondled and cut up by old men.
I visit a psych but i'm not sure she will ever understand. Doesn't matter that she's smart enough to endure a million years of study to reach her position. She's probably like everyone else in regards to this issue. And she just wants to drug me. I wonder how many "incentives" aka bribes she gets from pharmaceutical companies for giving drugs out.
I've become so mistrusting and hateful to society because of this issue. And honestly this pain is greatly contributing to the fact that I've barely slept for weeks and am thinking extremely poorly because of it. I'm surprised I was actually able to write this out, i can hardly think. Hopefully not too many poorly structured sentences in here.
And another thing i've just remembered. We have some bs sign at my study place that says "report child abuse, don't keep quiet" one of those generic things. I ######6 hate walking past that sign. What would happen if I reported male genital mutilation? Nothing at all, no one ######6 cares. So why tell me to report? It is just to say "your abuse in not genuine, now stop being a bitch. We don't care about you."