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is this abuse?

Open Discussions About Child Abuse

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is this abuse?

Postby silvershade » Fri Aug 04, 2017 11:15 pm

So, I'm 21, I've moved out of my parents house once.. but was forced to move back in because rent is actually unafordable.
(my sis is 2-3 eyars younger by the way)
My /roomates/ won't stop invading my privacy,
My sister won't stop when I ask her to stop something until I physically get up an threaten to hurt her with an object or something.
like, we'll all be sitting having dinner she'll get up and start playing and laying piano and I'll ask her to stop, 400+ times and she won't stop till I physically hurt her, like I don't want to hurt her but piano music literally triggers me and she know that. She knows I hate it. My parents let her do whatever the ###$ she wants and she gets to play and play and play and I plead her to just stop what ever she is doing but my parents ignore me and let her keep on doing it.

My dad will come into my room and just linger and start messing with everything and I ask him to leave repeatedly and I ask him louder and he will tell me to "ask nicely" but no I'm pissed then, I'm very angry then, I want him out of my room I want him out of my private lair, he'll just stay in there and not leave till I physically remove him..

My mom will go through my trash my clothes and won't let me do my own washing,

since turning 21 I've been drinking a whole lot, every night, I mean I've only been 21 for a little while but drinking makes the thoughts go away...

How do I make them stop when I want them to?
how do I make them go away when I don't want the min my room?
is this abuse?
what can I do?
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Re: is this abuse?

Postby seabreezeblue » Sun Aug 06, 2017 6:46 pm

a definite lack of decent boundaries going on there silvershade :|

It's difficult to define some of this, because while playing on the piano sounds intensely triggering for you, It's not unreasonable for your sister to play it, and unless she can be made to understand how you feel, all she's likely to see is that you're shouting at her and being aggressive for what she sees as something that isn't a big deal.

Your mom definitely shouldn't be going through your trash and clothes (except in the very unlikely situation that your bedroom is a health hazard that she has to clean because you don't do it yourself)..
Your dad should definitely not stay in your bedroom if you've asked him to leave - does he just walk in there or does he wander in to specifically ask you something (ie; has he got a good reason?).

Is there any chance that some of these issues can be dealt with by sitting down and talking to your family, and explaining how you feel..? then setting some ground rules about how you can all live comfortably with eachother as a family?
Any other issues with boundaries or abuse ?
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