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Insensitive coments *triger*

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Insensitive coments *triger*

Postby Valkyrie1989 » Thu Jul 20, 2017 7:16 am

I had a horible childhood. Had to witness abuse, experience abuse. The rest of the time I was made to feel like I am a burden

I were a good kid. A top 10 student. I spent all my time alone in my room. I never had friends, I didnt go out.

Then I get insensitive coments from my parner like. ' We will only relise the hell we put our parents through when we have our kids'

That hurt alot. They put me through hell, not the other way around. It hurts when people expects you to get over never being loved by your parents, even more when they want you do get over it as instantly as snapping ones fingers.
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Re: Insensitive coments *triger*

Postby Terry E. » Fri Jul 21, 2017 3:49 am

yeah I had one of those moments last Wednesday when after my wife (Pysch grad) went to some post grad lunch talking about all these new ideas recommended something for my PTSD. Did not go well.

My PTSD is fine, my overall anger at my life however is something that is always below the surface.

Was not an argument, but she got to see a face that I never do and I am afraid it is actually my real face.

It is hard, but just try and accept that they can never understand. They think they can, but that is a delusion. They also will never know how lucky they are.

and re my PTSD, I feel that my hyper arousal and hyper vigilance will help me through the Zombie Apocalypse when it arrives.
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Re: Insensitive coments *triger*

Postby seabreezeblue » Fri Jul 21, 2017 11:12 pm

I wish they could understand, but it's just too difficult for most people to comprehend.. I'm a firm believer that to be able to empathise with someone, you need to have had at least some experience of the situation.
I've heard it time and time again.. comments like ''parents always try their best, even if they don't always get it right''.. or ''I'm sure they love you''.. ''I bet you put your parents through some stuff when you were a teen though''..
ugh.. no.

I had an ex that thought my parents were okay until I invited him to dinner there one day.. he apologised after that.
A half an hour visit with my parents is fairly okay.. and I can't even begin to explain even half of how they made me feel so awful all the time, but give anyone an afternoon and dinner with them, and they'll start to see that nope, they're actually far worse than I've yet explained.

Totally with you on the zombie apocalypse Terry..
Shine me a light up
and i'll run round the moon..



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Re: Insensitive coments *triger*

Postby Terry E. » Sat Jul 22, 2017 2:14 am

seabreezeblue wrote:

A half an hour visit with my parents is fairly okay.. and I can't even begin to explain even half of how they made me feel so awful all the time, but give anyone an afternoon and dinner with them, and they'll start to see that nope, they're actually far worse than I've yet explained.

Totally with you on the zombie apocalypse Terry..




yeah and as bad as that Lunch, dinner, talk etc., is, they are only seeing their "good side"

yeah Sea when the Apocalypse arrives we will stand back to back, actually if the Zombies see my "other face" I am guessing they will run
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Re: Insensitive coments *triger*

Postby quietgirl2538 » Fri Jul 28, 2017 2:11 pm

I swear I was so shocked even though I thought my friend knew how my mom was. I felt I could confide in her and she actually understood and then one day she started saying some things about how you only have one mother, etc. etc. comments like that. Those comments made me close up to her on that and on other things. I go to therapy and I am validated there and I know better now. I was wronged. My mom was an abusive person. No doubt about that. My mom doesn't hide how bad she treats her kids, even now when we are adults. I'm 42. She just refuses to believe she is an abusive person. An abusive mom. She is still that mean person. When I shared with my own sister it seems to have taken her this long to finally realize the truth to my and my mom's relationship and only now does she see how bad of a mom she was to me. I don't love my mom. It's how I really feel. I still talk to her and I act fine around her. That is, when I'm actually around her. I don't speak to her unless necessary. I don't call or anything like that, so I am able to stay away from what I see as her toxic personality.
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