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Abuse at school

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Abuse at school

Postby billyfow » Sun Jun 04, 2017 10:20 pm

I grew up in a town just outside of Houston in the 80s and 90s. It was mostly poor to lower middle class white people, with Hispanics being about 20% and black being around 10%. Parents and teachers alike could be very strict. Pretty much all the kids got spanked and people young and old could be quite harsh to children. My parents were both from up north, my dad moved from New York in the 70s and my mom moved to Texas in the 50s as a little girl though she lived in a upper middle class area. My family didn't fit in well in the area. We were regularly harassed and bullied by neighbors that saw us as being weak. The dominate group was southern type people, very conservative.

While my parents spanked me from time to time they were overall gentle with their parenting. I didn't have a strict bedtime, strict diet or had to be super submissive to them. At school it was a different story. The faculty and staff could be very mean and very strict, making a big deal about the most minor infraction. While teachers were not supposed to hit students, some did anyway in the lower grades. The principal could do with with parental consent. My parents allowed it assuming it would be used sparingly. I hated school because it was a place where I was often uncomfortable for many reason. Common punishments in class were having to write sentences, standing or sitting the corner, having to stand at your desk, loss of Friday fun day which was usually having popcorn and being able to watch a movie. The school also had a pretty strict dress code requiring closed toe shoes with socks and no shorts. While most of this was fair and not a big deal the problem was how overbearing they were, as well as the blatant favoritism towards some students and some of their methods of discipline.

One thing that really bothered me at school was how restrictive they were with using the bathroom. The school day was 6.5 hours long and 7 hours by the 3rd grade. In lower grades we only had 3 restroom breaks a day, usually one around 10 am or so, a second after lunch around 11:30 to 12:30 and a third around 2 pm. Towards the end of the school year in 1st grade our principal completely banned teacher from letting student leave during class for the restroom due to some kids vandalizing the restrooms. Teachers would get in trouble if they let anyone go. This continued into the second grade. My second grade teacher (it was a two teacher class, the other was kinda mean) would say she was sorry, but she couldn't let me go, she would tell me to just to try and not think about it. She would give me a piece of candy and tell me to think about it instead. It felt so weird having to go to the bathroom, having it just down the hall, but not being able to use it. It was so hard to hold it till break sometimes. I never wet my pants, but a couple of others did. They just were sent to the nurse and given loaner clothes. By third grade they only allowed two breaks a day. My 3rd grade teacher didn't take us to the restroom at all after the after lunch break at 12 pm. So we had to go 3 hours with no relief. I would often be in agony by 2 pm, but she wouldn't let anyone go except her favorites. She would also take away restroom breaks as punishment for misbehavior, making the punished student stand outside the restroom up against the wall and watch while everyone else got to go. So if you lost your after lunch break you had to wait from 10:30 am to 3 pm with no restroom break. In 4th grade our male teacher brought for our first break around 11 and then again around 1:30, we couldn't go before, during or after lunch. We would walk right by the restroom for lunch, but wouldn't stop. We had a new principal by then and while the no break during class rule was gone, our teacher strictly forbid anyone from going telling us if he can hold it so can we. Later in the year he started to let people go from time to time. Fifth grade was the same, only two breaks a day, but our teacher did the same as our third, allowing no breaks after lunch. She would let students go during class, but would often deny us. She too used the bathroom as a form of punishment. She once banned two boys from going the entire day. Another time she took the whole classes after lunch restroom break away as punishment because we were too loud. She cancelled the break a few seconds after the first set of students went inside, she walked in and made the boys come back out that went in, she then went into the girls restroom and made the girls get off the toilet and come out. One of them came out with crying. She was made to get off the toilet before she had a chance to go. Imagine how it felt for her to be so close to relief and to have it taken away! We went to class and she stayed tough and didn't let anyone do. The whole class was bouncing in our seats by dismissal with a few students in tears. Even worst the restrooms were locked in the outdoor halls and they had a teacher that stood by the door and wouldn't let anyone go inside the indoor part of the school for any reason including to use the restrooms in the school, so most of not all the class had to hold it till we got home. The black students were bused across the district so they had to hold it for probably an hour or so longer. No one wet themselves, likely because we were so used to holding it from years of this discipline. We were getting older so it wasn't as bad as in the third grade for me, but it was still horrible. One time in the 4th grade they wouldn't let the whole school go till 12:30 or so because the water was out. There were kids during lunch crying they had to go so bad.

When our new principal came in the forth grade he got even tough on discipline. He had all the teachers follow a check system much like they did in lower grades for fun day Fridays, only it wasn't loss of popcorn in a movie, it was a trip to the office. For the whole week we couldn't get more than 5 checks. Our teacher would give us a check for the most minor thing. I would always have more than 5 on Friday and would get sent to the office. The first few times he just talked to me, but by the 3rd or 4th he started to paddle me. One day I got sent to the office for horse playing and then got sent again later in the day for having too many checks. I got paddled for having too many checks and getting sent twice in a day even though I didn't get any more checks after I got back from the office the first time. My teacher knew this, but didn't care. I had some trouble with my third grade teacher and while they sided with me, they started to think it was my fault I was getting sent to the office so much, but it was mostly due to the check system. The principal also went from two swats to three as I kept getting sent to the office. I would fear and hate Fridays because I knew I would get sent to the office and would probably get paddled. Fridays should have been fun, but they were something I hated and feared. I got better about not getting sent so much later in the year, but I was still sent a lot. My dad eventually started to tell him he could do it without calling. I know the simple solution was to just behave, but I had ADHD and plus the other kids would get me in trouble. On top of all of this I started to get bullied and got hurt a few times from kids punching me and pushing me. My 5th grade teacher was more able handing discipline in class so I didn't get sent to the office as much, plus I was so broken down by then I just stayed quiet all day. I was always made to feel like I was weak and even tell my parents what they were doing made me feel weak, like I wasn't man enough to just take it. The few times I did the teachers just retaliated against me.

My whole experience at the school had a dominatrix, sadomasochist undertone to it as far as my perception. It was all about control and submitting to their authority. In the 5th grade I started getting sexually aroused by the thought of being dominated, mainly being forced to hold my pee. I would imagine having parents as strict as the school restricting my bathroom use, requiring permission for everything and spanking me for every little thing with a paddle. I'm 40 now and still cannot be aroused without having these thoughts. It has hurt me sexually. I wonder how many other kids grew up with these fetishes. This may have been normal for these kids that had the same type of parents at home, but not for me raised more like the rest of the country.

Thanks for reading.
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Re: Abuse at school

Postby billyfow » Sun Jun 18, 2017 5:05 pm

No one has any comments or relatable experiences on this?
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