Our partner

Verbally abusive mother

Open Discussions About Child Abuse

Moderators: seabreezeblue, quietgirl2538, Terry E.

Forum rules
You are entering a forum that contains discussions of abuse, some of which are explicit in nature. The topics discussed may be triggering to some people. Please be aware of this before entering this forum.

Am I guilty or not guilty? Just some humour

Guilty
0
No votes
Not guilty
2
100%
 
Total votes : 2

Verbally abusive mother

Postby Jeplonski » Mon May 08, 2017 6:51 pm

*I apologize in advance for any bad punctuation errors. I'm horrible with commas*

I want to start off by saying thank you if you are able to read this long story and plee for help but I also understand if you are either unable or simply don't want to. It's a bit of a story that kinda sounds like a book show so you might even find it entertaining. Who knows. Thank you in advance.

So, I am a 17 year old living with my mother in the house I grew up in. My parents are currently in the process of divorce. I am forced to live with my mom however, because my dad is a pilot and leaves town consistently. However, my mother is just resembling a crazy person. I use this literally. She has always had anger management issues and is overly aggressive verbally; consistently. However, yesterday was too far.

Normally, in the past, I may do something out of line that is worthy of punishment. I am very reasonable and understand when and why I am being punished. I'm not a spoiled brat.

Last night, my mom asked me why I was upset. There is some irony in this which I will get to. My mom is the reason I am upset. She causes a majority of stress in my life. The irony comes in that I have voiced this many times to her and because she does not listen and twists my words so that she justifies - to herself - yelling at me, I get upset when she asks what's wrong all the time.

When my mom asked what's wrong, I initially exploded with anger because of what I explained above. This was out of line so after she walked away - saying nothing about what I just said - I calmed myself and said to myself I would remain calm.

Fast forward, my mom confronts me again in an aggressive manor. I stay calm and respectful. She then continues to yell and scream about how lazy and disrespectful I am (I have ADHD formally diagnosed so claiming I am lazy is disrespectful to me but I don't mention this to avoid a larger conflict) and she starts to make things up; starting after this next point.

I keep trying to say (in a calm respective manor) that she is misinterpreting what I have said. I was trying to focus on that whenever I give feedback on things she says or does that causes my anxiety, she changes the topic (primarily to school) and yells at me about this new topic. This build up anger in me and I don't know what to do.

Before I can finish explaining, she yells at me to "shut the ###$ up". Then I make a comment "that's disrespectful. I have been respectful to you [my mother] and you are calling me out on being disrespectful". She then follows this with another "shut up". So at this point, I am not I am just not allowed to talk it seems. So I am caught in this paradox that if I talk she yells at me, and if I don't talk, she yells at me.

Back to her making things up, she says "well than you can pay for your own car insurance because you want to be so independent!" In which I reply "I never mentioned being independent and you don't pay for my car insurance. Dad does" so after her making up a few more things she starts trying to punish me. I keep saying, "you can't take away my laptop, you didn't pay for it" and things along those lines. She finally just states that I am not allowed to drive anywhere. There is some fog in this realm however. The car is under my dad's name and he legally owns it. I have spoken with my dad and he doesn't seem to think I am in the wrong. Let me move away from this topic and come back to it later.

So my mom was constantly yelling at me and threatening me with punishment, calling me lazy, etc. I felt physically scared. My entire body began to shake and my vision became foggy. I had still been remaining calm and had not shown my anger towards my mom and I had remained respectful. I was just scared at this point.

I believe my body went into a fight or flight system. Adrenaline was being pumped through my system in an effort to fend off a threat. However, this threat was my mother and I was aware that this was happening and my body was either trying to get away from the threat or protect myself from the threat. I was scared I was going to punch my mother because she would not let me walk away. When she finally walked into another room, I quietly ran into the basement, ran into a bathroom, and locked it. Lights left off.

At this point I had texted my dad and he tried to call me while I was upstairs but I was too scared to answer with my mom right there. I didn't want her to talk to him first because she is manipulative and two faced. He called me again when I was in the bathroom. I explained everything and he then called my mom. I heard yelling from upstairs while they were on the phone and my dad called me back saying there was nothing he could do because he was out of town. He said to just hang in there.

After around 30 minutes I get a text saying she will give me the space I asked for so I finally go upstairs. I have not eaten still so I go to get my pizza I was making and had just took out of the oven before all this happened. She ate my pizza. "Mom gives kid a panic attack and then eats his pizza". I could honestly see that being on TV.

So I wake up this morning and I am about to walk out the door for school and she stops me and says "how are you getting to school?" I replied with "by driving" and she says how she took away my car and that when I get home, there are no driving privileges.

I never did anything wrong and she has been acting like a crazy person and I don't know what to do. Part of me wonders if she even has any way to punish me because she does not pay for anything and my dad does not think I am in the wrong. If I just don't listen to her, what is the worst she can do? My dad is still a legal guardian and doesn't think I am in the wrong and he is the one paying for the insurance and the house. My mom would have to buy the house from my dad to stay in it after the divorce.

Basically, I'm wondering what she could do if she tried to punish me and I just ignored her. It worked with the laptop and she does not legally own anything other than being married to my dad. Everything is under his name. I'm not doing any illegal activity and if my dad approves of me doing something, am I legally allowed to just ignore my mom and listen to him? I understand she is responsible for me while he is out of town but I'm just curious as to what she can actually do.

Everything I have said is because I do not believe I have done anything wrong and neither does my dad. My mom has big anger management issues and is screaming insults while I'm just sitting there doing nothing wrong. I appreciate anyone who read all of this and is willing to offer any point of view. I even respect and agnowledge point of views of those that hold entirely different opinions. So once again thank you. It's just nice to even have someone else hear me.
Last edited by quietgirl2538 on Tue May 09, 2017 12:37 pm, edited 1 time in total.
Reason: allowed word to be reset by swear filter; no other edits
Jeplonski
Consumer 0
Consumer 0
 
Posts: 2
Joined: Mon May 08, 2017 5:16 pm
Local time: Sat May 27, 2017 11:53 pm
Blog: View Blog (0)


ADVERTISEMENT

Re: Verbally abusive mother

Postby quietgirl2538 » Tue May 09, 2017 12:44 pm

Wow! When I read your story I thought you had somehow gotten into my head and it was all me in most of your situation.

I totally take your side. And seeking your dad out to feel like a normal and good person through him is definitely what I would have done (and I did). I don't want to turn this into a post all about me, because I definitely could, as your post resonates so much like my teen years.

Your mom is verbally and emotionally abusive. She does sound like she has anger issues and she is cruel to you. Taking away your driving privileges was out of line. In my eyes, you are such a good child and you are respectful and of course, you are not perfect. No one is.

How I would deal with this? Stick with having your dad in your life. Make sure of that. Let them talk things through and tell your dad everything that goes on with your mom and you. You need someone to support you and not only be on your side, but to protect you. Living under the roof of an abusive mother (person) is horrible and I'm sorry that she is not mature enough to see how hurtful she is towards you. Hugs if wanted.
“There’s an Asian expression that ‘a burden shared is halved.’"

Dx: Bipolar I
Lamictal 300mg
Wellbutrin XL 300mg
Vraylar 4.5 mg
diazepam p.r.n 10 mg twice a day

Forum Rules
User avatar
quietgirl2538
Moderator: Consumer
Moderator: Consumer
 
Posts: 3271
Joined: Sat Feb 16, 2013 2:23 am
Local time: Sat May 27, 2017 11:53 pm
Blog: View Blog (66)

Re: Verbally abusive mother

Postby Jeplonski » Wed May 10, 2017 8:36 pm

quietgirl2538 wrote:Wow! When I read your story I thought you had somehow gotten into my head and it was all me in most of your situation.

I totally take your side. And seeking your dad out to feel like a normal and good person through him is definitely what I would have done (and I did). I don't want to turn this into a post all about me, because I definitely could, as your post resonates so much like my teen years.

Your mom is verbally and emotionally abusive. She does sound like she has anger issues and she is cruel to you. Taking away your driving privileges was out of line. In my eyes, you are such a good child and you are respectful and of course, you are not perfect. No one is.

How would I deal with this? Stick with having your dad in your life. Make sure of that. Let them talk things through and tell your dad everything that goes on with your mom and you. You need someone to support you and not only be on your side but to protect you. Living under the roof of an abusive mother (person) is horrible and I'm sorry that she is not mature enough to see how hurtful she is towards you. Hugs if wanted.


Thank you for your reply. I really appreciate and will take your suggestions into account! Thank you for even just sharing some of your personal experience with this issue. It is very comforting to know that someone else is or has gone through the same problems as you. So seriously, thank you
Jeplonski
Consumer 0
Consumer 0
 
Posts: 2
Joined: Mon May 08, 2017 5:16 pm
Local time: Sat May 27, 2017 11:53 pm
Blog: View Blog (0)


Return to Child Abuse Forum




  • Related articles
    Replies
    Views
    Last post

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 24 guests

cron