*mod edit* My dad was verbally and sometimes physically abusive to my mom during the entirety of their marriage, so my mom divorced him three years ago and I now live with her and my older sister who has a mental disability. My mom never hurts my sister in any way, only me. I don't want to live with my mom, but there is no one else I can go to, as my dad and other relatives are unstable and I can't abandon my sister.
She doesn't care about my health or well being. I have had depression and self harmed since I was about ten years old. I attempted suicide by overdosage when I was twelve. My mother was very angry, and said that if I had been successful I would have gone to hell, and she would have to spank me since it was against God to take or try to take yourown life. I was professionally diagnosed with depression, took Prozac and therapy for a while which helped, but then she took me off since she insisted I was just seeking attention. She said i'm just a child, therefore my issues are nonexistent, and I might feel sad but I wasn't depressed. She found razors in my room, then punched, slapped, and hit me because I lied to her and said that I stopped self harming, and she thought that if she spanked me it would teach me not to self harm anymore. I have fallen back into depression again, and think about suicide on a daily basis.
My mother doesn't respect me, or give me privacy. She uninstalled the locks on my bedroom and the bathroom door, removed the shower curtain and walks in while i'm taking a shower and looks at me. She says it's okay since she's my family, and I 'belong' to her. This is disgusting, but she walks around completely naked 24/7 and has once shaken her naked butt in front of my face and got mad when I got angry about it. She thinks it's okay to touch me anywhere she wants. She once asked me if I was wearing a bra (I was at the time, I always wear one,) then proceeded to squeeze my breast. I told her to stop, then she started yelling at me. My aunt was there at the time, told me to stop being disrespectful, and touched my breast too. She slaps or pinches my butt frequently, and says she's just being 'playful.' She has read my diaries and snooped in my room.
She gets angry at me over very minor things. For example we were in a long line at a grocery store, and I suggested we move to the next line which was shorter. She did, but it was an express line so she couldn't use it, so she screamed at me for making her leave her place in line, and slapped me. Once we were in the car she punched me, and left two scars on my face. She beats me with belts, leaving welts and minor cuts. When I was younger she used to use a hanger to beat my fingers with until they bruised whenever I made her mad. She insults me constantly, telling me i'm ugly, fat, stupid, crazy, etc., She sits, complains, whines, and watches tv all day and depends on child support and her sister loaning her money to pay bills, since she's too lazy to get a good job.
Alternatively, but not very often, she shows me affection or is somewhat polite to me. Everyone at my mother's job loves her and thinks she's a lovely person, but they have no idea what goes on behind closed doors. It makes me wonder if i'm just overreacting? Thank you for any advice.
Last edited by quietgirl2538
on Sun Feb 05, 2017 11:37 pm, edited 1 time in total.