living with a guy who was abused as a child

I am a 43 year old guy who has a partner 5 years younger who was sadistically abused as a child.
We met online just under 11 years ago and started chatting on a regular basis. He came across as wanting to be abused as an adult and we had in depth conversations about this. Slowly he began to tell me about his past and I could tell that this was a guy who needed a lot of help. I began to realise that he didn't really want to be abused by me but he thought that was what I wanted. I am a very caring and compassionate guy so I did all I could to help him. After a couple of months we met and I found out that he had been arrested by the police for having indecent pictures of children on his computer. About a year later he went to court and was sentenced to 6 years in prison for his crime. Over these 6 years I stuck by him because I understood that his crime was completely related to the hell he went through as a child. I am not making excuses for him as he knows that what he did was wrong but, the way I see it is that, as you and I might have pictures of our childhood on our computers, so did he. Some of the things that he has told me have broken my heart and made me weep at night, how someone can be so sadistic to anyone, let alone an innocent child. I have witnessed this guy curled up in a ball in the corner with pure abject fear and terror on his face, as if in a trance, seeing something I could not even start to imagine.
After being released from prison he has become a changed man, because inside he got the help he so desperately needed.
Anyway the reason that I am writing this is that I feel stuck in a relationship that I honestly don't want to be in. I do love the guy very much but no where near as much as he loves me. I can see in his actions and the way he looks at me that he adores me and loves me unconditionally. I have spent a good portion of my life helping him and care for him deeply. I believe that if I left him then it would destroy him and I just cannot do that.

You sound like one hell of a person. Not many people can help save someone, most people are simply trying to take their share of life. I wish I had some answer for you moving forward.

I research child abuse, not quite sure why. Am I trying to find worse cases than my own to make me feel better, am I trying to understand who their mothers were so I can understand mine better, it hurts me and pains me, but I still look into every case I hear about. Maybe he was doing something similar.

Can I also ask a question,(see it never stops), was the abuser father or mother, natural or step.

Hi Terry, thanks for your reply.
As a child he had ' behavioural problems' so was sent away to an all boys boarding school that was supposed to 'deal' with boys who had such problems. It was whilst here that the abuse took place by certain staff at the school and various other people associated with them.