At my place of work, there's the retail assistants (which is what I am), the supervisors, the asst. manager and then the manager. Well, I'm being bullied by one of the supervisors and it's been going on for months. I've complained about her twice but the manager and others said I was being really sensitive and that she wasn't bullying me. I just needed to toughen up.
Anyway, here are some of the things she has been doing to me:
There are many times when she criticises me. She will tell me I’m going too slow on the shop floor, tell me I’m not scanning fast enough when there are big queues and doesn’t seem to realise (or turns a blind eye to) that there are big queues because it’s busy and not because I’m a slow cashier, tells me I’m being impatient when I ring the till bell twice in a short space of time (the bell tells another cashier to come on the till), tells me to use a bit of initiative and when I do use initiative tells me off because I didn’t get permission before I did the job (such as filling something that was looking empty). Nothing I do is right. She tells me to do something, I do it, and then she'll tell me off for doing it.
There have been instances when she has denied me breaks at the end of the day but has let everyone else have theirs. One time I was staying over for delivery. She let the people who were leaving at 6pm go for a short break outside and when I went to follow them outside she told me that it was only for people to have a cigarette break even though she herself doesn’t smoke and neither do two other staff members, who were also outside having their break.
She patronises me a lot. She makes fun of me because I’m forgetful. When it was said that till pens would cost £1 if they were lost (she said that, no one else did) she said that I’d probably have to pay a fiver each week because I would always lose mine. She keeps telling me to do something useful instead of just either a) standing there doing nothing or b) walking around like a lost sheep when I’m actually working really hard.
She shouted at me through the intercom when the shop was closed because she gave me a deadline and I had gone past the deadline. It was when the shop was closed but two others were present as well and it made me feel very silly. She humiliates me in front of customers by telling me off for little things, such as not getting a bell immediately, ringing twice and other small things. She also tells me off when I’ve done nothing wrong.
She is always giving me deadlines that are unrealistic and she gives me other jobs in-between as well so that I am never able to finish the first job she told me to do. I feel like I’m just being bombarded with tasks and deadlines and there is just no way that I can do all of them at once and finish them within the deadline.
She watches me a lot and seems to be there when I mess up, giving her the ability to shout at me or criticise me.
I’m always apologising to her, especially as I’ve been dropping things recently. She always makes me feel really guilty because she gives me evil looks.
I found this on another forum: Bullies separate and isolate their targets, sometimes going as far as to cause division within the target's family. The bully is likely to be manipulating your work colleagues into distancing themselves from you, either by sweet-talking them with charm, or by playing on their vulnerabilities whilst raising doubts about their job security
There are a couple of instances where this has happened. Firstly, it happened when we all went for a night out. She had told everyone that I had filed a complaint about her and that she was thinking of quitting her job, because of me. Everyone abandoned me that night, leaving me on my own. I was in tears. Another supervisor was vile to me that night; she kept giving me evils and saying nasty things to me that I couldn't hear. It is what the bully wanted. I went into the toilets and they were in there. As I went in one of the cubicles, the other supervisor shouted at the top of her voice, “You’re not leaving because of that bitch *my name*!” Since that night, she hasn’t been the same with me. This is also happening with another work colleague. She is being really rude and patronising to me and she is also best friends with the bully. Since that night where everyone turned against me because I complained, I have been reluctant to complain since.
The bully's best friend recently made a false allegation to me. I'm very pleasant. I always say please and thank you and I'm nice to everyone. Everyone. She complained to the manager about me and said I was rude to her on the tills. I was up in the office and told off. Then the accuser came in and told her story again. I couldn't believe what she was saying. It was all lies! Needless to say, my manager believed her story and I got a slap on the wrist (not literally) and was forced to apologise.
I've written a journal, as well, listing everything she has done to me. I've got times, dates, I have even written down witnesses, and I plan to hand it in to my manager when I've got a good handful of pages for her to read. I'm really suffering. It's coming to the point where I'm fearful of losing my job. I feel incompetent. To be honest, I am getting to the point of being that way because I'm terrified of her and and also of the other work colleague. She is making me nervous to the point where it's affecting my work. I've been having migraines, suffering with bowel problems, can't sleep, am having nightmares when I DO manage to get to sleep, am shaky and I also feel a little out of touch with reality. I seem to have this anger inside of me, but it's directed at me. I've developed a mantra inside and I repeat it to myself in my head. It goes "I'm absolutely fine. Nothing wrong with me." Or sometimes it goes "I'm okay. I'm okay." and it just repeats. I feel I'm doing this to try and reassure myself that I'm coping, when it's obvious I'm not. I feel like I'm losing my mind. I hardly laugh anymore, I burst into tears, I'm angry and confused.
I don't want to quit. I'm autistic and this is the first job I've managed to get. If I quit, I don't know how long it would be until I found another job. I also don't want to quit because I think I'm a strong person; I've just been struck with a psychiatric injury that has knocked me from my foundations. It's not in my nature to quit. I'm a fighter, not a quitter. I'll fight and fight until I get so emotionally drained that I can't cope. I just really need to know what to do.
Should I keep writing things down in my journal and then hand it in to my manager? How can I cope with the stress? Any helpful advice would be greatly appreciated.