First, I would also recommend posting in the grief forum, because you've (hopefully, only temporarily) lost the person who is your husband. I would also recommend that you and your kids get face-to-face counseling, because this is NOT going to be easy for you.
Second: there may be a way for him to get help and return to work without losing his job. I'm sure you've heard of the Family and Medical Leave Act. Here's the FAQ:http://www.dol.gov/whd/fmla/finalrule/N ... ryFAQs.pdf
If he's going to be away from work for more than his sick days will allow...DO NOT "not tell his work because it's embarrassing." That's probably the worst thing you can do. Try to establish a line of communication with his supervisor. Find out if his workplace has an EAP, Employee Assistance Program. If you do nothing, he's likely to lose his job. Obviously, don't disclose everything, but they're going to need to know that he is having a health problem for which he will need treatment. They will need to know that he is actively working towards recovery. This will increase the chances of him keeping his job.
Here's how to get started on treatment:http://www.mentalhealthamerica.net/go/find_therapy
The National Suicide Prevention Lifeline's 24 hour toll-free crisis hotline, 1-800-273-TALK (1-800-273-8255) can put you into contact with your local crisis center that can tell you where to seek immediate help in your area.
I think that your situation qualifies as a crisis. Your husband is a danger to himself and others. He may have to be hospitalized or go to a detox center.
CALL. CALL EVERYWHERE. Call your doctor, ask him for a psychiatrist referral. Ask him what to do. Compare what the doctor says with what the folks at NSPL say. If you don't like your shrink, switch shrinks. Ask questions. Find a patient advocate, they're usually around any large hospital. Those folks are trained to work as translators/interpreters between you/your husband and doctors.
Do research on your own. Look up the medications your husband is mixing on a site such as this one:http://www.rxlist.com/script/main/hp.asp
Also try http://www.mayoclinic.com/
Make a list of ALL the substances that your husband is using, including food, alcohol, etc. You can also call the manufacturers of the medications. Different meds are made under different names and sometimes by different manufacturers. You can call your pharmacy and ask them who manufactures the medications. You can then call that manufacturer and ask for information.
Doctors and psychiatrists don't always know all the possible interactions of meds. And your husband is on QUITE the cocktail. You might want to consult a medical attorney. Don't file a false claim out of anger; that will just come back to bite you in the ass. But if your doctor knowingly prescribed medication that has dangerous effects when taken with other meds, then you might at least be able to get enough money to pay for your husband's care--if it comes to that. Of course, there's the issue of your husband's alcoholism...so the case may or may not hold up. It depends on the lawyer. You might also be able to settle with the doctor/pharmaceutical company out of court.
Again, this is an extreme scenario, but I want you to know that it's there. Once again, don't immediately scapegoat the doc.
Face the fact that your husband is an alcoholic. Find support, such as the forum here. Read this:http://www.alcoholism-solutions.com/wiv ... olics.html
This is a small forum for wives of alcoholics:http://www.dailystrength.org/groups/wives-of-alcoholics
You have a computer and a phone. Use them. Use Google. Get information. Get support.
Be there for your kids. Don't act like nothing happened. Lead by example: talk to them in a way that they can understand. Most importantly, listen to them. Don't push it if they're not ready.
And always, always feel welcome here. This is rough. You're gonna need someone to listen to you. That's what the forums are for.
Do not take my advice before talking to your doctor/counselor/other professional. Depending on where you live, you may be able to find free, confidential care. Most importantly, sometimes your shrink can be wrong. Get a second opinion.