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A little insight and advice.

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A little insight and advice.

Postby Frank_Darko » Tue Sep 25, 2012 4:30 pm

Hello everyone. For many many years I have suffered with mental health issues. For a long while now psychologists have never given me a solid diagnosis. They simply put me as having psychosis but I always wanted a more clear diagnosis as psychosis can be a part of many different disorders. However I recently saw a psychiatrist who told me I had BPD. I went away and researched it but I don't really feel like it's fits me at all. I felt it was best to talk to BPD sufferers and see if you believe this is the right diagnosis for me.

For 8 years now I have heard voices. I have two main voices, one called Scott and one called Darren. Scott is usually really nice and supportive and sometimes gives me advice if I'm having a rough time. Darren on the other hand is abusive and aggressive and in the past he used to try and get me to do things. When things were at their worst (which is a few years ago now) Darren used to take over my body and I wouldn't be able to recall much. He used to write horrible things about me as well as leaving me notes on how to make explosives. He wanted me to basically set explosives off in my school but thankfully I had a really supportive partner who stayed with me to prevent me from going ahead with anything. These voices have been with me pretty much every day for the last 8 years. I don't know what I believe them to be. I believe they come from another dimension and we all have the power to travel through different planes of existence.I also have a lot of power to control things but I can't seem to tap into this power. A more rational explanation would be they represent emotions that I struggled to develop or understand and therefore have broken apart from me.
In terms of my mood I am usually always depressed. Sometimes my mood can shoot up very high. I would not say I become manic but it can go considerably high and in these periods I can be a lot more sociable (I rarely speak to anyone normally) and I'm more productive. Although I am depressed I never ever self harm. This personally doesn't do anything for me. I am not that impulsive either and usually do the same thing every day. I struggle to feel emotion and find I am very very flat and don't always show the emotion I am supposed to. I feel very disconnected from the world and as I said before in very harsh times sometimes the voices will take over.

I personally don't feel this is BPD, especially from what I have read about it but I felt I'd get the best answers from people experiencing it. Thank you
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Re: A little insight and advice.

Postby CBear » Tue Sep 25, 2012 5:57 pm

I'm no doctor obviously but this sounds like schizophrenia

How have your medical professional been treating you for these issues?
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Re: A little insight and advice.

Postby Frank_Darko » Tue Sep 25, 2012 6:26 pm

Well as a kid the doctors just told me I was depressed and ignored me when I told them about voices. They put me on anti-depressants which did very little for me so I stopped taking them. Eventually my doctor realised something wasn't right and referred me onto a group that deals with psychosis. I think they initially thought about schizophrenia and bipolar disorder but since I handled it very well they had trouble putting me in the right place. So I was simply classed as having psychosis. I've never been on any meds for it as they have always said I can cope well on my own and I should continue to do that. I have a support worker who helps me out and I talk to her a lot about it. I had a psychologist for a while but we kind of hit a dead end and she discharged me as there was nothing she could really do. I briefly saw a psychiatrist within the team that deals with psychosis and he said he doesn't think it's a psychotic disorder but BPD. I don't know why he thinks this as I don't really fit the symptoms from what I have read. At the end of the day I don't care what I am but at the same time I don't want to have a diagnosis that I feel is incorrect.
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Re: A little insight and advice.

Postby CBear » Tue Sep 25, 2012 6:34 pm

I don't see any BPD in what you've described to me.

Psychosis is evident but the term Psychosis is very broad and can mean anything from relatively normal aberrant experiences through to the complex and catatonic expressions of schizophrenia and bipolar type 1 disorder.
Further specifications need to be made and you need to be treated as this could potentially become harmful on self or others.

I'd keep looking into it and continue to consult different professionals about this stuff. You'll have to be completely open with everything you are experiencing.

I'm no doctor but this is what I'm seeing from what you described to me.
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Re: A little insight and advice.

Postby MissAli » Tue Sep 25, 2012 6:45 pm

Hi frank-


I'm sure you already know this, but none of us are able to diagnose you. We're not qualified.


However...


I do have to agree, personally, with what the other posters above have answered - this really doesn't sound like BPD. I hate for this to be a dead end for you, but please feel free to poke around any of the forums here to try to find answers...

My best wishes to you!!! <3


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Knowing other people is intelligence, knowing yourself is wisdom.

Mastering other people is strength, mastering yourself is power.

If you realize that what you have is enough, you will be rich, truly rich.

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Re: A little insight and advice.

Postby Frank_Darko » Tue Sep 25, 2012 7:12 pm

Thanks very much for your replies. I just felt it was worth asking people who suffer from BPD if they felt I fit at all with it's description. I pretty much knew that I didn't but I wanted to understand where the doctor might be coming from. It seems odd that I'd suddenly go from having psychosis to BPD.
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Re: A little insight and advice.

Postby rosemont » Tue Sep 25, 2012 11:52 pm

I just wanted to point out that I'm pretty sure you could ask for a second opinion, and you can also tell your doctor you feel the diagnosis doesn't fit and then explain why. I agree with everyone else, it doesn't sound anything at all like BPD. Good luck!
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Re: A little insight and advice.

Postby Cheze2 » Wed Sep 26, 2012 12:51 am

While I have known someone who had BPD to experience auditory hallucinations, your case sounds more like schizoaffective disorder from what you described here. That's where you have mood swings, and also hear voices. Since I am not qualified to give you a diagnosis, I would talk to your doctor and definitely try to get a second opinion or perhaps have them explain to you why they thought it was BPD.
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Re: A little insight and advice.

Postby Hucal » Wed Sep 26, 2012 7:55 pm

Cheze2 wrote:While I have known someone who had BPD to experience auditory hallucinations, your case sounds more like schizoaffective disorder from what you described here. That's where you have mood swings, and also hear voices. Since I am not qualified to give you a diagnosis, I would talk to your doctor and definitely try to get a second opinion or perhaps have them explain to you why they thought it was BPD.


Wanted to say something like this.

Although I am not qualified to diagnose, either, it does sound like it could be schizoaffective disorder. There is either the depression type or the bipolar type. It is considered schizoaffective, and not schizophrenia, when you have psychosis even in periods where your mood is stable.

I would do some research on schizoaffective disorder if I were you. Of course, it is also possible to be comorbid with BPD... that sounds horrible, though. Best of luck to you.

Actually, here ya go: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Schizoaffective_disorder

Wanted to save you a few seconds, haha.
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Re: A little insight and advice.

Postby somekindamillie » Wed Sep 26, 2012 8:02 pm

could be DID, you said this person took over you for a while. maybe go over to the DID forum and have a chat with some people there.
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