When I drink, several things can happen:
1) My symptoms of BPD and depression are gone, at least until I lose the buzz. Then I crash.
2) I'm super friendly, outgoing, and laid back. Good sense of humor. Not usual for me.
3) I become tired and can sleep peacefully, which never happens.
So, it is really tempting for me to drink most nights. But, I keep it under control--I never drink when I have to work the next day, and when I do, I try not to drink a ton. Not drinking is easy in some ways, though, because my current meds make me sick enough when I don't drink. When I do, it's awful.
It's always darkest before the dawn.
Dx: Bipolar, type II
Rx: Lamictal, 200 mg; Risperdal, 1 mg PRN