Great list, Wineaux!
Betty, the way I found out was by doing almost exactly what you're doing. My GP (who broke the news to me - my psych just sent her a report) told me of a few books that she suggested that I read. I went out to the book store, bought them, read them, and rolled m eyes. That wasn't me. It wasn't even close.
However, as time went by, and I was out in the world, I'd catch myself doing something and say "oh yeah, that was in the book, wasn't it?" That happened more and more until I finally gave in and accepted that I really do have BPD.
I don't care if it hurts, I want to have control,
I want a perfect body, I want a perfect soul,
I want you to notice when I'm not around,
You're so ____in' special,
I wish I was special.