First therapy sesh

Well, just hoping for some experiences from some of you ladies and gents.
I have my first "therapy" meeting this week, with my doctor and a psychologist. As this is my first time - I'm wondering what happens? I'm rarely comfortable opening up about anything that hurts me. Also I seem to have a negative view on psychological therapy, I can't see how it will help. I am me essentially and part of me doesn't want to let go and re-learn how to do things correctly.
I also don't want to be asked "how are you feeling" or to be expected just to talk like normal - I find I dislike women (psychologist is a woman) and I either love or hate people straight off the bat and I'm difficult to win around otherwise.
I'm also worried the wrong diagnosis will be made and I'll end up with unessecary treatment.

Really sorry about the boring post - i've not slept yet and it's 6am!! Totally anxious and hyper... Time to take my pills and relax! phew

Be completely honest. Tell her you don't like women. Seriously. Say what you need to say. Even if you have to say exactly what you posted here.

You'll find more benefit after you get comfortable with a therapist. It took 2 years until my last therapist and I started making progress. I used to call her "my useless therapist" and now I feel guilty for that. I was very upset when my insurance changed and now I have to change therapists.

Exactly what tortoise said, said her you don't like women, tell her you never know what to say when people ask how you're feeling, tell her it all! Be completely honest with her. If you hate her guts one day, tell her that. If you like her a lot the next, tell her that as well! She will make the correct diagnosis judging on what you tell her, so don't leave anything out. Be as open as you can, because the more open you are, the more support you will get.

My experiences.. I played with a lot of my psychs. I don't know why I did, I just did. I liked the power game, I liked controlling them. But I've realized that now. I have a great psych at the moment, took me a while to warm up to her, but she's helping a lot. I've gotten the right diagnosis for me, I've stopped playing, and I'm starting to listen, and I'm seeing the benefits already. I let my guard down, and by letting it down, I'm now reaping the rewards of being open and honest with a psychologist.

I also was guilty of the "my useless therapist" line.


And now I can't figure out how I would have walked the journey this far without her. She knew me when I didn't know me. She's led me places I didn't think I could go.

But always remember - YOU are PAYING for therapy. This is YOUR time. This is not a time for someone else to tell YOU how you feel - but if you do not share with them how you feel, then do you expect something to change? Because it can't.

If you're not sure you're willing to re-learn behaviors, I completely respect that. But I think you should share that with them, and perhaps start more intensive therapy when you're tired of the way things are going.

Just a thought. <3


AMP

Thank you for your reply's - I really appreciate it.
Luckily for me I live in the UK and don't need to pay for my healthcare - I guess this is why I'm also a little apprehensive "You get what you pay for".
Are there any questions I should ask them? Like their proffesional accrediation, the process, what their prefered mental area? etc. I feel if they're getting to know me, I should see f they're right for me.
I agree with being completely honest with them, however I don't want to be mis-construed as an annoyance because they can't deal with me. I just can see myself sitting there in silence - Perhaps I should take a pen and paper in as I tend to write what I intend to say easily as opposed to verbally where I have foot in mouth syndrome.
I really do want to improve and I have done... I think - I rarely do anything risky - drink/drugs/spending etc. The only issues I feel I'm having at the moment is mood instability. I keep being a nightmare - screaming, going into fits of rage where my boyfriend has to restrain me or I'll lay in bed thinking no one loves me wishing I was dead, in tears writing my suicide note. UGGGGGGGGGGH!
I feel guilty now - I'll discuss this tomorrow with the therapist, hopefully she's a switched on cookie otherwise she'll bore me to death.

One again thank you

Take in a pen and paper then. There is nothing wrong with that. Especially if it helps you to communicate. I have a difficult time with that as well.

And if they can't deal with you then you dont have the right therapist for you anyway. You need to feel comfortable and trusting to open up. At least I do. Ask your therapist any question you feel important to you.

I wish I would have asked my therapist what he mainly specialized in. I think that may be an important question. And give it time. You may at first think they are wrong about things they may to say to you only to realize later that they may just be on to something.

Best of luck to you.

I have therapy through the local mental health center, so my experience can't speak for everyone.

The very first time I went in was an interview - they asked me stuff about me, why I was there, what I hoped to gain in therapy, that sort of thing.

My first session was intense because I felt suicidal and was freaking out so we made a safety plan and got me patched up, emotionally speaking.

missehffs wrote:I find I dislike women (psychologist is a woman) and I either love or hate people straight off the bat and I'm difficult to win around otherwise.
I'm also worried the wrong diagnosis will be made and I'll end up with unessecary treatment.

Really sorry about the boring post - i've not slept yet and it's 6am!! Totally anxious and hyper... Time to take my pills and relax! phew

Wow! Nice piece of honesty there. I'm inspired. I can't give you any useful advice but I wanted to share my emotions when I read your post - I was excited! Smiling and a little happy. Not sure why. I'm not really stable right now because I'm "fixing" my doses. I hope I won't be hated for saying it, because I'm a male - I don't like women too. I don't hate them right off the bat and I'm not condescending, it's not a chauvinist thing. It's just most women I've known were either really conformists, bitches or too emotional with little self-awareness. I've looked for confirmations around the web and surprisingly I found more *women* that hate other women than men. What's up with that uh?
I look for a girl I'll accept 'cause I do want to love and be loved and all that jazz.

Oh, and I also told more than a few psychologists that they're useless, superficial, wasting my time etc'.

I can't thank you guys enough!! Seriously - I am so happy I went, I went in there anxious as hell... Biting my nails staring and thoughts jumping around my head. I couldn't believe how a) cool she was and on the ball!! and b) how open and receptive I was.
It was all about me and what I wanted out of the service. She told me how that they mainly deal with short-term therapy for minor to major issues and I may need further specialist therapy, more in depth with CBT and couple sessions for me and my partner. I asked her in her opinion does she feel I have BPD and she said you do fit that spectrum, I'll need to go through this with my manager to ensure you definately fit the criteria. From how much information I got today I'm really happy I managed to get so much done in an hour and I'd say you have a personality disorder of some description.
Finally I can say I have some form of a "diagnosis" I actually really liked her, she was nice and easy to talk to she didn't ask me stupid questions and allowed me to be open and honest about how I felt about my problems and the world.
Thank you so much EVERYONE!! I went in brave with knowledge I'm not the only one feeling hurt and receiving help - I'll be back again later just I really need to sleep lol. Ahhh I'm over the moon, weight has been lifted and I can't wait to feel some sense of "normality" at the end of this troublesome road, you lot are awesome

aww, don't thank us. YOU did the hard work!

I am glad this therapy is looking hopeful for you. Best of luck to you. Sleep well!