Does anyone else here have any variation of noise anxiety? There are a few manifestations, but the one I think I suffer from (have suffered from most of my life) is misophonia.
Sometimes (not always, but when I am already tired or agitated) I feel like I can hear every single little noise around me.
I was in the living room watching TV, the show was really annoying. I was journaling and brought up some topics that were really depressing, etc. Next thing I know I started hearing a bunch of different noises around me: my son chewing, my other son shaking candy out of a box, my daughter typing, the crowd cheering on my son's video game, the fan in the kitchen, the sound of a ball bouncing outside, my husband biting his nails, someone sniffed, the door to the bathroom closed, the noise noise noise noise ... I felt like I had to make a louder noise, so I slammed my coffee cup on the table - of course, that drew a bunch of looks like, "What the HELL was that about?" I freaked. I felt like my heart was going to burst out of my chest if I didn't take action.
I stomped up the stairs, slammed the hallway door, slammed the bedroom door and shut myself off for like 10 minutes. I think the noise of the chewing set me off. My dad used to freak out at us when we were having dinner if we ate too loud or "smacked" our food. Whistling gets at me too. Again - Dad - he used to whistle eerily peaceful tunes before he would act out abusively.
Anyway, I was sitting upstairs in the dark, quiet room and thought ... I have to post this on the forum.
I feel a little better now, but this happens to me a lot. I wonder if it is a BPD thing, or just a FloMac thing.
Maybe we have to break everything to make something better out of ourselves. - Chuck Palahniuk