Northern Light wrote:I used to think I'm a lousy liar. I was always telling the truth and if for fun I tried to tell a lie, I'd get caught because it was so obvious!
But recently I've noticed that I've started adding a lot of little bits to my stories... twisting the truth to make it sound better, sometimes mix the stories, steal parts from other subjects, exaggerate, sometimes add little bits to make them sound more believable.
Sometimes add bits to make it more dramatic.
Sometimes I forget what the truth was so I have to fill in the gaps.
Now I'm not sure if this is something typical for a BPD person. But I don't like it.
Do YOU lie?
I did this a lot up into my early 20's. One day as I was examining my life for what it really was, I realized my life was a lot more interesting than ANYTHING I could make up. You just cant write this stuff, ya know?
I think I lied to cover up many uncomfortable truths. Later I came to terms with them and those same truths make me interesting to others. For example, I grew up very poor. I always made up exotic excuses for why I didnt have nice shoes, clothes, etc. Or why I couldnt go on field trips that costed money. Now, when I tell people I grew up very poor they usually want to know more about it.
One time, I told an ex boyfriend I was a drug addict. Looking back I was probably trying to cover for my crazy behavior. Another time I told the school my father was beating me. He wasnt beating me, but he was so very emotionally abusive. Now I know why I said the things I said. There was a grain of truth in my lies.
The lies (for me) were a way to say what I was afraid to say, or maybe I just didnt have the vocabulary to express those feelings yet. Either way, the underlying message was always the same: "Im hurting really badly" or "I really need a friend right now".