Do you Borderlines still think about your ex's or miss them?

We were together previously for nearly 2 years, everything got out of hand, things got really abusive and i couldn't stay with him any longer. I regret it at times because he tried to get me back, but i didn't want it at the time. It was the hardest thing i ever had to do as i feel so hopeless + empty without him. Me and him went through so much together, I helped him get a diagnosis as they told him he had 'Bipolar' We both went through drug addiction together + came off them together. I helped him get help, and move into supportive housing.. He was such a big part of my life. Its been 3 months since we've split and i've had no contact with him what so ever. Hes blocked me on F/book, i deleted his number + got a new phone. I've now found out that . I've heard that they go through there black stages at a breakup, so when they move on. They don't think about you at all or miss you. Thats hard for me to hear as i'm here suffering so badley and hes found someone else to fill his emptyness. I wondered do you guys still think/miss about your ex's? even when your in a new relationship. Im in a new relationship now and its made me miss him even more, haha. Its so frustrating, i wish he understood my feelings.

I still miss my ex. We broke up about 2 1/2 months ago.

I, too, feel hopeless and empty. I cry a lot because of it. He is poly, and I know he has pursued other people since we broke up. i actually ended up in the hospital because I found out he spent time with a woman less than a week after I moved out.

I can't even think about dating other people because I'm so broken up about it still.

Yes. Even though I hate her for hurting me, there's always that part of me that misses her. :/ It only lasted 3 months.

Yes. I won't ever get over him and it's been 2 years. I don't want to meet anyone. No one compares. ###$, he was my first. Taught me so much about myself. I'm a hopeless romantic. I'll never forget him. I wish I could. I'm such a fool. That's me. C'est la vie.

I do, but it's mostly still in anger, and the relationship ended years ago.
I allowed myself to stay in an abusive relationship for 3 years with him, so I'm angry at myself for allowing the damage that it caused, as well. I wish I had never met him.
This was long before I ever knew anything was wrong with me, and for some reason, I was
attracted to someone who enjoyed hitting all of my triggers as much as he could.
He had his own problems with intimacy, pushing-pulling, keeping walls up, etc. but isn't the type who would ever EVER accept that he might possibly be causing problems in any situation - least of all in a relationship - why, heavens no! If I had to guess, having learned what I know now, I'd say he was probably a Narcissist/Histrionic. I'll never know, though, and probably he won't, either.

So yes, he pops up in my dreams once in awhile and I wake up cranky and upset.
I still am in contact with friends I met through that relationship, so occasionally I hear things about him. It's very difficult to stay friends with the neutral parties because of it. I was very hurt by this person, and I don't know when I'll be completely over that. I hate that.

Sure sometimes.

I missed them more before they left though. Sadly being left even though like you say " had your legitimate reasons " it will make me devalue them over time. Painting black happens. It's not that I hate them or anything or wish bad on them but it's that I uncontrollable can't go back to trusting someone after they left me. The pain is too horrific. Even if it was for the best. I just usually fake that I can to make them feel better ( if they come back, usually do) and than I leave again. Or will revisit when I feel like attention but that's it.

The Borderline part of me feels to betrayed and than there is nothing but a hole there for them

But like my therapist says "it's okay to not want to get back with someone who left you."

Break-ups suck and are so hard for both! I understand. But I'm sure you left him for good reasons. It's okay just be happy with your new boyfriend. Why do you miss him? It sounds like you were probably better off.

Yes and no.

Yes, because most of my serious relationships have been with people I grew up with. It's hard not to include them in memories.

No, because the memories don't pop up because I was thinking of them.

Damn, that sounds cold.

well---generally, yes. i can't speak for anyone else, but sometimes i miss someone immediately. at other times, there is a delay---when it's safer to feel something, then i do, but in the interim, there's an ongoing numbness.

if things were really bad or overwhelming, there can just be this enduring sense of relief that things are over. if they were only midway-bad, i can get obsessive about getting the other person to admit they were midway bad. it drives everyone involved completely insane, but i think it's about seeking validation.

it's really not always predictable, what reaction will happen. but i think that's a part of bpd.

I miss all of mine

It depends. A few of them, yes, but most of them, nope, not really.

I'm taking the easy answer way about this one. I could write a book.

AMP