sophali wrote: I feel intense pressure to "get this solved" because that's the way my mind thinks (always wanting to solve a problem). Not sure if that's a borderline thing. I have small children, a supportive hubby and am living with my folks right now because of financial issues - which is difficult because my mother is driving me insane.
I am a problem solver like that too so I understand what you mean. I first found out my BPD traits about a year and a half ago, and it took several months for me to deal with the shock, depression, fear, and anxiety resulting from that first self-realization that I had it. I gave myself some time to just sit and do nothing about it. Then, after I was more emotionally ready to try to do something about it, I started to research and analyze what my options were. My DH and I are both having some issues with job security right now, so there are some financial issues involved. So, going to see a therapist or enter a DBT counseling program is not in the immediate cards for me right now. Also, with raising 2 very busy kids, there just doesn't seem to be enough time to fit in therapy sessions, even if we were in a more secure financial situation for me to be able to do so. Because of these work and family limitations, I am mostly taking spare moments here and there to read books about BPD, checking online resources (such as this forum) to learn more about it and basically just trying to become more mindful and aware of my actions and reactions to different situations and what causes triggers in me and what types of people cause triggers in me. It can be frustrating at times when I don't see that I have a final resolution to any of my big issues. Because I am a very goal-oriented person, I am trying to take baby steps in dealing with each little BPD-related roadbloack that comes my way, instead of feeling like I have to solve all of my problems at once.