Our partner

Stupid jerk.

Borderline Personality Disorder message board, open discussion, and online support group.

Moderator: lilyfairy

Stupid jerk.

Postby Apocallcaps » Wed Aug 17, 2011 10:05 pm

So I take a cab ride home from the store, we reach my destination and I hand him a ten, and apparently I didn't reach far enough for him? First the s-head is put off as I want him to pull up closer to my flat (as he should, and as most cabbies do), I'm a bit tired and worn down at the moment, so apparently I didn't reach out my arm far enough (they hurt) and inconvenienced him?

So, Mr. f-head says "not gonna reach for me, mate?" in a toned down agitated voice. How does he expect me to react? How do people like that like expect you to react? He was deliberately a little inaudible --people who do that really bug me, speak up or shut up-- as all snide remark makers are. So, I say "sorry?" ...nothing from him... so I say "sorry?!" then he just says "yeap." He didn't push it as he's a passive-aggressive coward. If you say something, you make it heard or you shut your damn mouth and say nothing. Anyway, I get out...

Did he expect me to say nothing? Did he expect me to apologize? Did he expect me to be intimidated by it? Fact is, I wanted to punch him. He shut his goddamn mouth after I got irritated.

I don't get it,.. how would your average person react? My inner dialogue goes something like this "fkn problem jerk? it isn't my fault you're having a bad day, quit mouthing off or I'll pimp slap you smart***" Thing is, he no doubt picks up on this and shuts his coward face... "yeap", lol... yeap what, bitch?

Personally, I like that I didn't let him get away with his garbage that he no doubt dishes out whenever he wants to air his $#%^; however, I do not like that I'm still dwelling on it.

I'm glad I called him on his attitude, but the fact that he tried to pull one suggests people let him get away with it. How would you react? How do you think most people react to that sort of thing?
"I assess the power of a will by how much resistance, pain, torture it endures and knows how to turn it to its advantage." -- Friedrich Nietzsche
User avatar
Apocallcaps
Consumer 6
Consumer 6
 
Posts: 732
Joined: Sun Mar 06, 2011 10:34 pm
Local time: Sat Oct 25, 2014 11:11 am
Blog: View Blog (22)


ADVERTISEMENT

Re: Stupid jerk.

Postby katana » Wed Aug 17, 2011 10:50 pm

recently probably similar to how you did, then be stewing for ages over not stopping to beat the $#%^ out of him. - not that its necessarily a good reaction, just how the situation would probably make me feel.
User avatar
katana
Consumer 6
Consumer 6
 
Posts: 9013
Joined: Fri Jul 09, 2010 9:05 pm
Local time: Sat Oct 25, 2014 11:11 am
Blog: View Blog (2)

Re: Stupid jerk.

Postby Living Well » Wed Aug 17, 2011 11:25 pm

It's one of the few scenarios that wouldn't trigger me (I've got quite a collection though). I would say "well it's no skin off my nose if you don't want to take the money mate, I could do with a free cab fare"... At that stage he would snatch the money and that is when I would get triggered. I would tell him "see that number - pointing to his cab number... that is the number your boss is going to be hearing about very shortly... hope your attitude improves".
Yes, I am psycho enough to follow through with ringing his boss and making a complaint.
It's just my way of putting the $#%^ in the persons bucket so I'm not carrying other people's garbage - I have enough of my own.
Unnecessary negative interchanges can stick with us... we need to remember deep down inside that although we were treated badly, we didn't deserve to be treated badly and that the persons treatment of us says more about them than it does us. Much easier said than done!! :x
User avatar
Living Well
Consumer 6
Consumer 6
 
Posts: 667
Joined: Wed Jun 08, 2011 8:46 pm
Local time: Sat Oct 25, 2014 9:11 pm
Blog: View Blog (44)

Re: Stupid jerk.

Postby Apocallcaps » Thu Aug 18, 2011 7:05 am

Living Well wrote:It's just my way of putting the $#%^ in the persons bucket so I'm not carrying other people's garbage - I have enough of my own.


It's the more boggie, or boggish types who behave in this uncouth manner. If you don't know what a bogan is, you must have a read, it's most fascinating:

http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=bogan

It's by no means common, I have no idea where you're at or from but cabbies here in general are very proud of their occupation and are kind and courteous, they'll insist on helping you get groceries out the back and such and bid you farewell. So, when I have a chance encounter with one of these I get taken by surprise.

The last time I handled it with class. This was another bogan, apparently he thought I slammed the door getting out. I didn't. I was, though, taught by my father who's an avid traveler by way of far of camping sites with trucks loaded with gear to always make sure the door is firmly shut.

I worked out later that his actual problem was that he likely had a thundering headache, it was either a Saturday or a Sunday and these types love their boozy weekends. I was still a bit green though I tried to handle it with class, said "I didn't my any means mean to slam your door, Sir" I think partly as I was taken aback by shock. His comment "You usually slam doors that hard, or are you just having a bad day?" That one elicited the stun, that painful sting and I was bewildered and that's likely why I didn't at least put some undertones of attitude to my words. I was very unsatisfied with how I handled it and I think that partly contributed to the feeling lasting so long, I ended up ringing his company and complained.

Funny how I've changed so much in only 3 years. It's like, I can brace the impact and then act out what's inside rather than feeling it so intensely later on for a drawn out period of time. These days my reaction would be "What the ###$ is your problem? I didn't slam your door.", I'd slowly walk off and remark "jerk." If he'd said anything, I'd have turned around and just stood and stared at him until he got in his cab and drove off. I swear, the older I get, the more I remind myself of my father. I don't think it's entirely a bad thing either, so long as one exercises the appropriate amount of restraint.

In reacting to this guy today, I was not left with the 'sting' that lingers,.. three years ago I had no idea what that was or why I got it. It was confusing. I'm mostly over that guy now, I don't give a damn, and it's as I reacted then and there. I handled it, albeit in my own way.

I actually see nothing wrong nor psycho with your way of dealing with it; making a complaint and all the rest of it. If it's BPD behaviour to react as we do in our own respective ways to these sorts of events, then in a way I don't want to be 'normal'. I don't want to be someone who doesn't confront people like him, or things of that nature.

But you're right, his behaviour does say more about him than it does you or I, or anyone, I thought immediately "bogg..." You can suffice it to say he's classless and/or unrefined. I've got class but I'm a bit rough around the edges at the same time,.. which makes for an interesting way of dealing with things.

In this case, he's probably used to intimidating people with his boggie garbage, but I fought him hit for hit and he didn't know how to take it. He may not even know how to be any different. I've generally got a very civil or refined heir --which is not false-- but at the same time I can bite someone's head off or lock on to their neck. Generally, it's reserved for people who deserve it.

Living Well wrote:It's just my way of putting the $#%^ in the persons bucket so I'm not carrying other people's garbage - I have enough of my own.


Exactly! You said it, sister.

-- Thu Aug 18, 2011 7:11 am --

katana wrote:recently probably similar to how you did, then be stewing for ages over not stopping to beat the $#%^ out of him. - not that its necessarily a good reaction, just how the situation would probably make me feel.


It's nice to know others relate and/or would relate to the situation in the same way. I on certain occasion ask myself: "Is this my ED stuff, or BPD stuff, or both? Or is it just me reacting with my natural personality aside from it all. Or, is it a combination,.. is the stuff warping, or amplifying what would otherwise be a natural reaction for me?"

I want to understand myself fully. I don't want to walk around viewing myself as some walking PD. I want to try and understand what's what, when and how.

Thank you both for your replies... very helpful and informative.

Cheers.
"I assess the power of a will by how much resistance, pain, torture it endures and knows how to turn it to its advantage." -- Friedrich Nietzsche
User avatar
Apocallcaps
Consumer 6
Consumer 6
 
Posts: 732
Joined: Sun Mar 06, 2011 10:34 pm
Local time: Sat Oct 25, 2014 11:11 am
Blog: View Blog (22)


Return to Borderline Personality Disorder Forum




  • Related articles
    Replies
    Views
    Last post

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: lilyfairy, Ronie and 130 guests

cron