You KNOW You're BPD When...

WendyTorrance wrote:

bohemian_butterfly wrote:you post in this forum to offer advice and after you hit submit you beat yourself up thinking, who am I to give advice?

I know what you mean. Not beating myself though.
But it's being humble, right No one's opinion/advise/whatever here is more important than other.
But when we mix it all together, it just might become something major.

Beautifully written. You are right. Thanks!

When you need him close when you think he won't be around, but when you're sure he'll be there, you wish he'd go away, at least for a little while.

You know you have BPD when you call for a free telephone consultation with a perspective therapist and when they don't return the phone call, you feel that the last therapists you had blacklisted you in the city you're living in.

...when you've had a bad break up with a therapist that you go online and give them a poor review on every single site you can find it possible to do so. You also write them two 9 long paragraph emails going into detail about how awful a therapist they were and how they have hurt you so. And you wish you can do more and it's never enough and everyday you want to write another angry email.

...when you want to or actually buy 2 of everything because should something happen to the one, you need a duplicate.

...when you fear that even your improvements in therapy can abandon you. You are reaping the benefits on one day and the next day should you not feel as well, you feel abandoned.

...when you find that a therapist you once saw was friends with another therapist you once saw on Twitter and you think that they both conspired against you and are definitely talking behind your back.

...when you're in therapy and adore or hate your therapist and you are in between sessions and you need to see them now because you just cannot handle the wait as it is like death to wait to see them again to either stand up for yourself or baske in the love feelings with them.

When you go psycho and break furniture over a small fine in the mail...

When you snap at housemates for trying to tell you to clean up after yourself (when you yourself are picky about cleaning) or place boundaries and then apologize later for snapping... every. single. day.

When someone wakes you from sleeping and you tell them to "go **** themselves" or scream "GET THE **** out" or "leave me alone or I'll squish your face into a blender and turn it on" and don't remember saying anything, waking up or that you had a blender.

When you cry just watching a youtube video and people look at you like you're a freak of nature.

When people talk about current affairs and you have no idea wtf they are talking about because you can't and don't watch the news anymore because it's too depressing and sends you to bed for days because you think this world is a horrible place filled with horrible people who do horrible things and you want no part of it.

Cubby46 wrote:When you go psycho and break furniture over a small fine in the mail...

Same thing, but when my mom broke my phone. I didn't break furniture but I punched walls and went totally psycho.

Cubby46 wrote:When someone wakes you from sleeping and you tell them to "go **** themselves" or scream "GET THE **** out" or "leave me alone or I'll squish your face into a blender and turn it on" and don't remember saying anything, waking up or that you had a blender.

LMAO that

Cubby46 wrote:When people talk about current affairs and you have no idea wtf they are talking about because you can't and don't watch the news anymore because it's too depressing and sends you to bed for days because you think this world is a horrible place filled with horrible people who do horrible things and you want no part of it.

That! And then I could complain about this world for hours and hours

...when you need validation from a hen...

Cubby46 wrote:
When someone wakes you from sleeping and you tell them to "go **** themselves" or scream "GET THE **** out" or "leave me alone or I'll squish your face into a blender and turn it on" and don't remember saying anything, waking up or that you had a blender.

Word!

-- Wed Jul 23, 2014 11:14 am --

Lucinda wrote:...when you need validation from a hen...

Is the hen invalidating?

Im-pure wrote:

Lucinda wrote:...when you need validation from a hen...

Is the hen invalidating?

I have gotten used to him/her following me, even inside the house. Yesterday she didnt and I felt rejected .
But at least the horse came to me when HE saw me outside. That was something!

When you are feeling totally hung up on someone after knowing them for only 2 weeks and it's just supposed to be a friendship.

I constantly get sucked in with woman who give me attention but they are never single ( which is hard cause I am looking for the one ), I usually find out in the beginning but the fact they keep talking to me sucks me in the dark hole of adoration and affection.

So while I should have this fantastic friend at the moment that just talks with me, I just get swept into a net of caring too much again, trying to make sure things are good and stay good between us, which is hard cause I will never be able to tell her how I really feel without making it awkward.

@BpdKat do you read my mind?

Lucinda wrote:I have gotten used to him/her following me, even inside the house. Yesterday she didnt and I felt rejected .
But at least the horse came to me when HE saw me outside. That was something!

I felt rejected by my sister's cat but now I gained her trust again