Borderline vs Normal (reward dependence)

Low reward dependence, High harm avoidance and high novelty seeking describes borderline personality disorder. Since discussing all of them and tying them together would be quite a feat, maybe just talking about one at a time would be easier to handle. Here I'll focus on reward dependence only. Instead of the technical jibber jabber, it might be more useful to talk about how it effects everyday life and ultimately, our personalities.

Here is the breakdown of how reward dependance is measured;

Sentimentality (RD1)
Openness to warm communication (RD2)
Attachment (RD3)
Dependence (RD4)

Some people are born with normal norepinephrine levels in the brain. Some are born with low/none. Schitzoid, Antisocial and Borderline tend to be on the low/none end of the spectrum. When I say tend to, it's damn near a requisite. These shouldn't be called personality disorders, they should be called emotion disorders that effect personality.

Imagine missing the warm, comforting, fulfilling feeling that makes socializing rewarding. Imagine not being able to share that feeling with others and not having that intimacy. You probably don't have to try very hard if you're borderline.


All kinds of problems stem from not having this feeling set.

1. Since everyone instinctively tries to keep this chemical level high, being around someone who has low/none of it is kind of torturous. It drains people emotionally. People run from us.

2. Our natural personality was never going to be acceptable. From a early age, we find out the truth that being ourself is repulsive to people. We start to hate ourself because other people hate the real us. Eventually we burry who we really are. We burry it as deep as we possibly can, knowing it will never be loved or accepted. With that, we start to develop fake personalities. The fake thing only really works for so long though, and eventually most normal people will gravitate away from us and into relationships that feel better for them.

3. We're constantly, endlessly, painfully empty and depressed. We're missing maybe the greatest feeling human experience has to offer.

Wow, beautifully said and sad. I shed a little tear for all of us suffering...

I always wonder if I would get along with another PD. Maybe I've had the chance but we hide it so well you know...

thanks for this

wildernessrealm wrote:Wow, beautifully said and sad. I shed a little tear for all of us suffering...

I always wonder if I would get along with another PD. Maybe I've had the chance but we hide it so well you know...

thanks for this

Thanks. It was scary, then it was sad and now it's relieving to know I'm not bad, just different. It's kind of a hard thing to look at, but hiding from the truth of who we are makes life confusing and frustrating on top of sad and depressing. I'd rather be sad and depressed with a sense of who I am and what's happening around me then living the roller coaster never knowing what the hell is going on or who I am.

MrEmMak wrote:I'd rather be sad and depressed with a sense of who I am and what's happening around me then living the roller coaster never knowing what the hell is going on or who I am.

$#%^ man you've just made me understand why I like this set of lyrics in this song so much: "Starlight; I will be chasing the starlight; until the end of my life; I don't know if it's worth it anymore.", before that it goes "This ship is taking me far away from the memory of the people who care if I live or die."

What you're saying here is you've decided to stop chasing after the starlight; you came to the conclusion it wasn't worth it. I, however, will be chasing the starlight until the end of my life--live or die. And if it takes me forever then I shall chase it forever.

You can go your own way...

MrEmMak wrote: Borderlines and Antisocials are born with low levels of norepinephrine. This is a very important biological reality for people with these personality disorders. In fact, they are also born with little or no level of Serotonin - the " feel good neurotransmitter". This is sometimes why BPD is referred to as "biological unhappiness" and why sometimes SSRI antidepressants are helpful in treating BPD symptoms.