think BPD is kind of a curse. I want one thing, but then I'm so driven by my emotions that when they don't respond positively to what I want, I end up depressed and miserable while doing what I want. I want it but I hate it. I end up not knowing what I really want, not knowing who I really am and not understanding why I can't do the things I really want to do in life
Synesthesia wrote:yup, that sums it up in a nutshell! i'll want something like crazy, then when i finally get it... meh. something horrific is occuring!! shrugs. i'll freak out about it later. it's later. some other time. its some other time. not now. OH EFFING GODS, WHAT THE HELL JUST HAPPENED?!! *anxiety attack! POW!*
its like... the trigger in my head for emotional response is on delay or overdrive. i just don't know what's appropriate anymore...