I really hate the whole situation. Did he really love me as he thought - or is he out of touch with his own feelings? Was he distancing to push me away? Was he trying to get me to worship him?
It's very hard to say what 'he' might have been doing in these particular questions. Of course I don't know him at all, but I do have the same kind of issues that you've described above and I can try to answer these questions as if they're possed to me directly, giving you some insight at least.1. Did he really love me as he thought - or is he out of touch with his own feelings?
If this was me and it was pretaining to my XBF & I, I would say: Yes I really did love you, and I am out of touch with many of my own feelings sometimes. I KNOW that because of past experiences in my life love hurts, and it HURTS SO BAD! I want to love you, and I do love you, but the more I let you in and open myself up to you, the more I leave myself open to pain and suffering becasue of you. It's safer for me if I DO keep myself somewhat distanced from you to protect myself from those feelings of hurt. At times I may have seemed indifferent and uncarring, but this is all a fasade. This is me pushing myself from you and the pain you could possibly bring me, by trying to tell myself 'it doesn't matter' I don't care 'that much' and 'it's no big deal' BUT it IS a big deal, and you DO matter- I care for you SO MUCH!!! I just know I'm not gonna be able to keep you forever, because like everyone else and like every other situation I've been in, this is gonna end in heartache. So I keep myself garded as a protection to ME.2. Was he distancing to push me away?
I think this has been answered in the above, but YES he was- simply for his own protection in getting hurt.3. Was he trying to get me to worship him?
This one I'm not too sure of... With myself people either 'worship' me or they don't, and if they DON'T I really couldn't care less about them at all- so I'm more apt to say no here (if it were me) but some people DO want and NEED to be worshiped, so if he is some one like that, it verry well could be a yes. But I'd like to give you another option to think about here, instead of any kind of 'worshiping' what I think could have been happening in fact was him trying to to verify your love. Allow me to again try and explaine this through the me & my XBF situation:
You don't need to worship me, that's not what I'm seeking here. But I do try and test you sometimes to see weather or not the feelings you have for me are true, and wether or not they're even still there after everything that's happened. I think it would be safe to say that I don't like myself very much. Yes it seems on the outside as if I do, of course; I'm strong, itelligent, confident, attractive, self assured and all those positive things on the outside, but inside I'm very unsure of myself and I don't feel worthy of love- because if I were, everyone wouldn't have left me and hurt me so much over the years. I guess since it' so hard for me to love myself, I just don't see how YOU possibly could? So these games I play, these tests I put you through, they are for my own reassurance in your love, because of my own insecurities in myself.
As I said, I don't know him, but this is how I would answer these questions if it were my X asking me.
I hope it helps?
Man is least himself when he talks in his own person. Give him a mask, and he will tell you the truth~Oscar Wilde
Ideologies separate us. Dreams and anguish bring us together~Eugene Ionesco
Once you chose hope anything is possible~ Christopher Reeves