Female BDP and 'swinger fun'

I am a male non BDP who has become involved with a female BDP type. We have discussed 'sexual swing' fun..
3somes, more somes, parties, couples, etc. She seems very interested but has been slow to actually wish to explore this. Has been very slow and don't know if there is some hidden agenda or what on her part.
Is this something a female with this disorder will have difficulties with ? Like to hear feedbacks from BDP people.
As example, she has written many 'hot ' sexual letters so 'talks the talk' but has not agreed to even visit a 'swing' club etc.
Thanks for anyone who can help me.
PS She has never indicated that she has no interest in doing 'swing' fun..quite the opposite in fact ... is this a lie on her part from the BDP ... trying to sort out what is in her mind on this

--Edit--

I misread this- I thought she was a confirmed BPDer. Maybe she just isn't as into swinging as she thought she was. It's likely an issue with her own sexuality/morals/what she's comfortable with.

Pairou

Sorry, she is a BDP .. I will drop the word apparent ... and yes she has talked very willingly about doing sexy things with me ..but has been rejecting varioius things one after the other ... wondering if this would be something a BDP type person would do ...trying to understand

Gaylord wrote:Pairou

Sorry, she is a BDP .. I will drop the word apparent ... and yes she has talked very willingly about doing sexy things with me ..but has been rejecting varioius things one after the other ... wondering if this would be something a BDP type person would do ...trying to understand

Nah, it could be anything at all.

bro, that's definitely NOT a good idea when you're dating a BPD. Think about it, when you date a girl (or guy) that's BPD, she will have trouble adjusting to any relationship you have with others, or whenever you show anybody else love or affection. Yeah, that's unhealthy and hopefully over time she learns to get over that and trust you, but how in the world do you think she'll react if you have sex with other girls?

BPDs can be promiscuous, and love the sexual attention, so I definitely can see a girl like this getting wild and having 3somes, and much more. But, when a BPD falls for somebody, that person basically becomes their entire world. I can't even imagine her wanting to do stuff with anybody else if you guys start getting closer. If anything she might feel gross about it and regret it later.

If you are adventurous sexually, which is great, just get crazy with her and only her. Don't bring other people into your sex lives though, that just sounds like a disaster.

BPD is most often the result of childhood trauma prior to the age of 7. This potentially includes neglect, psychological, physical and sexual abuse.

One of their challenges is self-identity. They often act out with sexual promiscuity and other self-harming behaviors.

Suggesting swinging is not only a likely trigger, but is not conducive to her mental health and healing process. If she has not been diagnosed she should see a professional. If you care about her, I would not bring up the topic of swinging again and focus on your own relationship.

BPD man, not BDP, BDP is boogie down productions. Anyway, it appears you're gently pressuring her in a direction she clearly doesn't want to go. You're not twisting her arm, but it's obvious she cares what you think of her, and wants to look cool(jokes about adventures). Peer pressure is powerful, effective, and the reason you always end up hating the person putting pressure on you. I would definitely not suggest you initiate her into that lifestyle. I don't think it's good or bad, but she's clearly not interested. Don't interpret her words, but her actions. If you care about her you're playing with fire, and it's best not to have this on your conscience. Here's some anecdotal evidence. My friend was interested in the alternative scene as well, so he convinced his girlfriend(who was smokin) to play along. After a bit of fast talking and detective work he was invited to an orgy. It was an underground thing that people attended after the bars closed. Well, they attended, and the relationship deteriorated after that. He spent the next six months nursing a beer. I'm not sure if he ever recovered because he stopped hanging out altogether. I do know she dumped him, and you know for whom? A leggy blonde, yup, a girl!!!! Sucks to be him. It's good to be greedy and it's good not to share, but that's just my personal opinion. It appears you're really interested in that scene, and that's great, but remember you don't need her for that. A little investigating and a little talking should be your ticket in, but if you're just using her as a ticket in the door, then that's wrong, and you'll get dumped, guaranteed.

I agree. People often reap twenty-fold for their choices...

She is into writing the letters and indulging the fantasies between the two of you because that is actually just HER AND YOU interacting or in bed or whatever, no one else. It's a whole different thing to actually GO to a swingers club or have a threesome etc. I would do the former things but NOT the latter. The 2 things are totally different to women, only to men are they possibly "the same" because it's the same subject matter. She is trusting your intelligence to know the difference!!

Also most women are not going to be remotely interested in doing that kind of thing... BPD or not. The only place you'll meet women who want to go to a swingers' club (is this the 80s?) would be at one.