One of the things that I noticed about by BPD ex straight away was her incredible 'child-like' personality...at times. Usually when she wanted something from me and often when she is sad, displaying empathy for others, feeling needy and generally feeling sorry for herself. I know that BPD arrests development to the age of a 3 year old and of course the flipside to this sweetness has been her child-like tantums. It always seemed like she had two personalities: The 'child-like' one and the 'normal, regular' one, where sarcasm and impatience seem to be the order of the day.. This is a woman of considerable intellectual prowess, highly opinionated, well educated and righteous and rigid when necessary. Whether this 'child-like' personality was to attract/manipulate me or not I cant say. But her voice would completely change into a 'cutesy' child-like one, high pitched and with an innocent, childish quality.
She also displays incredible child-like wonder about the world around her, which was incredibly attractive to me. When we spent time together, even just walking around was always thrilling and interesting. I must say, I can often have childlike wonder and curiosity about the world around me so maybe this was partly projected. I rarely saw her behave this way with friends of hers, unless it was in a needy, 'everything is wrong' kind of way, and even then, only to her closest friend (a male, whom she once confided to me that she had wanted to have a relationship with, and they once had sex together, but he didn't take the relationship further, apart from the fact that he is always there for her and gives her significant help financially and also looks after her child a lot, whenever she can hold down a job.)..sorry for waffling..
She has a 6 year old son and once told me that she had decided to have a baby to replace the childhood she never really had, like a return to innocence and a 'safe' life partner. She LOVES kids movies and cartoons and childish, naive music and art, bright 'happy' colors and has said before that one of the validations of music/art is that 'a child should be able to this'. One of the most fascinating things to me and one of the most unique points about her is this ability to 'morph' into a child. This quality seems to infer a strange 'wisdom' which most adults, or at least any other adults that I have dated, dont seem to possess, and it was definitely something that kept me 'hooked' to her, although admittedly, I found it rather strange to begin with.
Any thoughts on this are welcome. I love getting feedback and appreciate all comments, especially from BPDs. I realise that Im not as finely gifted in expressing my thoughts in such a technical 'BPD speak' way as others ( Downtown, Velouria, Normal?) but Im learning a lot so please feel free to send me your great insights (and links, Normal?
Thanks in advance.