Our partner




I always want be alone, I hate everyone

Borderline Personality Disorder message board, open discussion, and online support group.

Moderator: JohnnyBlaze

I always want be alone, I hate everyone

Postby MrsMilo » Sun Jul 26, 2009 12:30 am

Are there others out there that always want to be alone? I hate meeting people, being in large groups, shaking peoples hands and introducing myself. I know this is part of my Social Phobia but I just want to know if there are other BPD sufferers out there that are like this aswell. This drives me insane , my husband is so outgoing and i just wan to stay home. I feel for him because he just wants to meet new people and I don't. Don't get me wrong he is so understanding and knows what I am like and loves me for it but I dont think it is fair on him...to hold him back. This depresses me and pulls me right down into the dumps and find it harder to help him. Where I am at the moment I can hear the ocean and it is raining and all I want to do is "walk", walk away from it all and into the ocean for ever. I HATE feeling like this its awful, I am actually very happy with my husband and love him to bits but I am always holding him back. I dont no know why he married me as he knew from our first day that I had tried to commit suicide before - I even showed him the scares!!

I just want to be alone now
Keep healthy & sane
Mrs Milo
MrsMilo
Consumer 0
Consumer 0
 
Posts: 16
Joined: Thu Jul 23, 2009 11:47 am
Local time: Mon Apr 21, 2014 9:16 am
Blog: View Blog (0)


ADVERTISEMENT

Re: I always want be alone, I hate everyone

Postby nedesero20 » Sun Jul 26, 2009 4:18 am

I don't hate everyone, but I do often want to be alone. It's partly because I enjoy my solitude. But sometimes it's because I feel like I "can't deal" with the outside world when I'm depressed, or because I think people aren't going to like me so I make sure that I never meet them in the first place.
nedesero20
Consumer 0
Consumer 0
 
Posts: 10
Joined: Thu Jun 18, 2009 4:34 am
Local time: Sun Apr 20, 2014 3:16 pm
Blog: View Blog (0)

Re: I always want be alone, I hate everyone

Postby MrsMilo » Mon Jul 27, 2009 12:06 am

HI Nedesero20
I totally agree what you said - thats how I feel a lot of the time

Thanks
Keep healthy & sane
Mrs Milo
MrsMilo
Consumer 0
Consumer 0
 
Posts: 16
Joined: Thu Jul 23, 2009 11:47 am
Local time: Mon Apr 21, 2014 9:16 am
Blog: View Blog (0)

Re: I always want be alone, I hate everyone

Postby ninphm » Wed Jul 29, 2009 1:30 am

When I'm in a relationship I've been known to act that way but when I'm not in one I'm the opposite. I'll do anything it takes to force myself to get out and meet new people. Actually, since learning about all this stuff I've improved dramatically. I never knew what my damn problem was but now that I get it I make myself do the right thing as much as I can. I have bad days but I'm actually improving.
User avatar
ninphm
Consumer 2
Consumer 2
 
Posts: 51
Joined: Sun Jul 05, 2009 3:51 pm
Local time: Sun Apr 20, 2014 5:16 pm
Blog: View Blog (0)

Re: I always want be alone, I hate everyone

Postby SmallTalkRed » Thu Jul 30, 2009 1:58 pm

I always dreaded meeting someone after having a child, because I was on auto-pilot of safe or not safe.
I don't hate people. But I dont understand why some people "need" others around, and some are perfectly happy being alone.
I also don't need alot of material things.
Sometimes groups of people stress me out- when that happens, I leave. I used to make
myself stay, but my PTSD kicks in and if I am making myself, I am going to come across mean.

This is one of my survivor skills, I know it is there, why I feel this way, and I can use it if I choose.
Everyone should try and get out in this world, Now that my child is older, I no longer worry about safety issues for him. But still I guess I have to much family living near me. I am not a busy body, I don't care what the neighbors are doing, nor do I worry about it.

I learned a long time ago, things that you have no power, contol over, you are just wasting time and energy, and if it is trauma you need to deal with it, cause it will keep dealing with you....
SmallTalkRed
Consumer 6
Consumer 6
 
Posts: 4070
Joined: Tue Feb 06, 2007 2:57 pm
Local time: Sun Apr 20, 2014 6:16 pm
Blog: View Blog (0)

Re: I always want be alone, I hate everyone

Postby jess54 » Tue Sep 01, 2009 5:35 pm

Hi. I just joined this forum today, but I can definitely relate to always wanting to be alone. My teenage daughter lives with me, but I pretty much isolate. I hate people because I don't trust them and I feel great safety in my home. I was just telling my therapist yesterday how much I hate people. Don't know if that helped at all. I was diagnosed with Borderline years ago.
Jess
jess54
Consumer 0
Consumer 0
 
Posts: 1
Joined: Mon Aug 31, 2009 4:39 pm
Local time: Sun Apr 20, 2014 4:16 pm
Blog: View Blog (0)

Re: I always want be alone, I hate everyone

Postby missb_tch » Fri Jul 30, 2010 5:50 am

hi I know just how you feel. I feel it everyday. if people saw my family my home they would call me ungrateful and spoiled. your lucky you like your husband I hate mine and avoid him. this is lonely isn't it. hang in there you are not the o ly one out here feeling like this
missb_tch
Consumer 0
Consumer 0
 
Posts: 3
Joined: Fri Jul 30, 2010 5:08 am
Local time: Sun Apr 20, 2014 7:16 pm
Blog: View Blog (0)

Re: I always want be alone, I hate everyone

Postby f mae » Fri Jul 30, 2010 3:54 pm

MrsMilo, I know how you feel and then I don't. I have some great friends. And then I am make some friends that I realize I'd rather drive a metal spike through their face, or mine, for becoming friends with them in the first place, like, what was I thinking? The agony of it all. But the one's I keep, I keep. My brother on the other hand, I hate him. Well, I love him. Well, he was my best friend for the longest time until he became a colossal prick towards me a few years ago, his massive ego pissing contest he had to have with me, it was so worth it for him! So, now, after all the piss has dried, I still love him, but I still hate him. He's an awful friend. He mumbles and rambles on the phone, on and on. And he's a horrible listener. All he wants to talk about about is what he is interested in. I never get a word in edgewise. Like, nice talking to you shit-head! He is an exemplar, though, of how not to communicate with people, so I thank him for that. (My brother might be borderline himself; he's a larger version of myself, 212 pounds, 5% body fat, shredded muscle, wrestling coach, not someone you'd want to mess with when he is angry, and the only way you'd know he's angry is when he doesn't say a word! he's one of those.)

But as far as being isolated to the point always wanting to be alone, I get it and I don't. I do need people. I yearn for people. I need quality people. They are so difficult to find. This world is full of poker chips, and most of them are flattened chicken turds. Probably not true, but for some reason that is who I keep running into.

You are married yet you want to be alone and hate everyone and even titled your thread as such. You are on Neptune to me. If you are interested, I comment on this particular topic in this thread, third posting down

borderline-personality/topic52150.html

I find it astonishing that there are borderlines that seek and are in relationships. You have problems? Dear, I can't even begin to tell you mine....
"That evil face of God hates me like the rest."

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AqIukSoYmT8
User avatar
f mae
Consumer 6
Consumer 6
 
Posts: 323
Joined: Fri Jul 09, 2010 8:00 am
Local time: Sun Apr 20, 2014 4:16 pm
Blog: View Blog (0)

Re: I always want be alone, I hate everyone

Postby f mae » Fri Jul 30, 2010 6:15 pm

MrsMilo, I apologize if I sounded so incendiary, it was not my intention. Please forgive me if I have harmed you in any way. I am the one on Neptune. Everyone else is on earth. I am the one so far from earth, no one can touch me, I am so out of touch, especially when it comes to intimate relationships.

(I think my meds needs readjustment. The marijuana started interacting with the Topamax and Klonopin after 14 days. I was so happy and calm before, but the lucid dreams began, so vivid, some disturbing, but fun, although I thought I might be becoming schizophrenic, I became frightened. So last Monday I stopped seeing Mary Jane, and the rage is slowly creeping back. The gym helps, which is why I bled out my face this morning. This is a f'ing process!)
"That evil face of God hates me like the rest."

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AqIukSoYmT8
User avatar
f mae
Consumer 6
Consumer 6
 
Posts: 323
Joined: Fri Jul 09, 2010 8:00 am
Local time: Sun Apr 20, 2014 4:16 pm
Blog: View Blog (0)

Re: I always want be alone, I hate everyone

Postby lonergirl » Wed Aug 11, 2010 5:19 pm

I am pretty much the same way. I hate being around people because I can never really be myself. Too many come across as fake and I see through that instantly. People, especially at work, want me to be like them and it's never going to happen. I also think too many people are shallow, annoying or stupid or a combination of all three. I've been through too much in my life to think the average person would understand my point of view. It certainly doesn't help being very introverted. I'm so sick of being judged and let down so I reject them before they get the chance to hurt me.
lonergirl
Consumer 0
Consumer 0
 
Posts: 11
Joined: Wed Aug 11, 2010 3:14 pm
Local time: Sun Apr 20, 2014 11:16 pm
Blog: View Blog (0)

Next

Return to Borderline Personality Disorder Forum




  • Related articles
    Replies
    Views
    Last post

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: frostfern and 149 guests