nux bqt wrote:I'm not sure if all borderlines cut themselves, so my apologies to you if you feel offended by my generalization.
What I want to know is why the borderlines who cut themselves, cut themselves?
Do they do it in order to replace emotional pain with a more tolerable sensation (physical pain)?
I am going on 61, and I have been cutting since I was 14. My doctor actually commented on the fact that cutting myself where people will not see the cutting is rather clever. First time I may have been clever lol.
With me, the doctor took me down the road to be very "mindful" - part of strategies for coping with BD - and I realise that I self harm to get a "kick" out of it - and endorphin rush. The thing that surprised me the most was that the last two occasions during which I self harmed (I don't think I ought to go into technical details, but it involves toe nails), I noticed that once, I was disappointed by the small amount of blood that came out - and the next time, a little panicky at the fact that I could hardly control the bleeding.
When I was younger, it used to be the soles of my feet, and I can remember - as clearly as if it was yesterday - being at boarding school, having drawn blood on my heels, sitting outside one of the bathrooms, hoping the blood wouldn't stain the carpet. That's the one give away about self harming on feet.
In fact, a couple of months ago, my 31 year old son (wwho has himself been a "self harmer") saw me without anything on my feet, and asked in a horrified tone what was wrong with my big toe nail; I answered the truth instinctively, and he looked both shocked and concerned...........