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Hiding self harm scars at work

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Hiding self harm scars at work

Postby TwinkleStar » Wed Jun 14, 2017 5:07 pm

Hi,
do your colleques know you have self harm scars (if you have and if you have them maybe on arms or legs)?
Are you open about this? Did your colleques discovered them by accident or do you show them openly. Or do you hide and if so how to hide them during summer? What are your strategies. And why do you hide them if you hide them? Do you feel embarassed or are you just afraid of the stigma??
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Re: Hiding self harm scars at work

Postby smurf » Wed Jun 14, 2017 5:45 pm

Hi

I recently told my colleagues I used to/do self harm with the support of my former manager. I always try to keep my arm hidden due to the nature of work I do, but sometimes it's unavoidable. One of my colleagues is fab about stuff and encourages me to wear short sleeves. I bought a neutral coloured tattoo sleeve online and covers my whole arm.
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Re: Hiding self harm scars at work

Postby TwinkleStar » Wed Jun 14, 2017 6:01 pm

Hi smurf,
What is a tatoo sleeve?
I do not know about handling it at work, it is getting warmer and I always wear long sleeves or a litlle jacket.
I have a new job, no idea how people would react, if they have maybe a wrong idea if they would discover (stigma). I told one colleque about my problems, but I did not say that I used to self harm, so nobody knows yet. I love my new job and I do not want to loose it, what if the boss would somehow find out...what would he think, maybe that I maybe would be chronically ill and maybe that it is possible that I may become "ill" again? I have now 6 month probation time, where I could be fired without reason...On the other hand I do not like to hide, I want to be accepted regardless of my problems. I already regret that I talked to one colleque although she was very caring and she also suffers from depression. On the other hand while talking to her it also made me feel relieved. But maybe I should not talk to her like this but instead with a therapist..because I also do not talk to friends about it. I am so confused at the moment...
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Re: Hiding self harm scars at work

Postby Vikty » Mon Jun 26, 2017 8:31 pm

I don't hide them, I don't see why I should, If people feel uncomfortable looking at them, they have the option not to look.

People notice them, I see there eyes on my scars, and the look of shock on there faces, they don't ask questions, I don't offer an explanation.

I went through hell, I have scars from that, I'm not going to make myself uncomfortable in the heat, just to make other people not have to feel uncomfortable by seeing them.
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Re: Hiding self harm scars at work

Postby iate » Tue Jun 27, 2017 3:25 am

I'm lucky enough that I don't have much scars on my hand because in middle school I switched to my legs instead, because I was worried about future career. However - there are are some pretty big white scars, so basically - if someone notices them, they can quickly puzzle it out (I have had such situation with perverted lecturer at my university + a lot of friends asked questions).

I try to keep it hidden at work. It's quite inconvenient, since I've just started a work and we have temperatures about +/- 30 C (90 F) right now. But I work in an office that is air-conditioned, so it's easier to wear a jacket. Except the day the air-conditioning broke down :roll: However, since I've got some little, but quite fresh red scars that really catch the eye - it's better that way.

And well, to be honest - I think hiding it is a really good idea. I was rejected university team-project due to my problems. The coordinator said it was better if I didn't work in group, because I was right after release from psychiatric hospital (and had to inform university authorities about that). So well, I don't think I would once again let my mental issues influence my career.
On the other side - I quite of understand the approach. I mean - if you were to decide who to hire and had two people of similar qualifications to choose from - wouldn't you rather choose the one without mental issues? It's kind of a deal, since you cannot predict if and when such a person would break up nervously. And if someone is mentally disturbed - there is a bigger change that their problems would impact the efficiency at work.

You can say it's not fair, but also - the life isn't fair as well. If you want to be taken seriously, then do whatever to look like a professional. Fake it, till you make it.
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Re: Hiding self harm scars at work

Postby TwinkleStar » Tue Jun 27, 2017 4:56 am

iate wrote:I mean - if you were to decide who to hire and had two people of similar qualifications to choose from - wouldn't you rather choose the one without mental issues? It's kind of a deal, since you cannot predict if and when such a person would break up nervously. And if someone is mentally disturbed - there is a bigger change that their problems would impact the efficiency at work.

You can say it's not fair, but also - the life isn't fair as well. If you want to be taken seriously, then do whatever to look like a professional. Fake it, till you make it.

Yes, that are exactly my fears, maybe giving someone the impression that I will sooner or later have problems at work (e.g. being absent due to illness etc). It would be easy to replace me with someone "healthy" who doesn't seem to have problems in the future.
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Re: Hiding self harm scars at work

Postby SarahT » Tue Jun 27, 2017 12:54 pm

I have a large burn on my top left arm which is very noticeable and until recently I've been able to hide it well. When I started to relax about it a bit more and wear tshirts then some colleagues would notice and ask what it is which was very uncomfortable. I've bought some makeup to conceal it but its very expensive and I still find it noticeable. I decided that due to the location I will probably get a half arm sleeve tattoo completed as this will hide it much better.
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Re: Hiding self harm scars at work

Postby iate » Tue Jun 27, 2017 3:51 pm

I also used to wear compression band on my hand and lie that I had problems with my wrist or my arm had been twisted.
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Re: Hiding self harm scars at work

Postby SarcasticSnowflake » Wed Aug 02, 2017 1:36 am

I cover mine up with makeup or wear jewelry or a long sleeve and just lie to them and say I'm cold if they ask why I'm wearing a long sleeve shirt in hot weather. It's none of their business quit honestly.
DX: BPD, ADHD, Anxiety
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