Is it common for bpds to date aspds?

iate wrote:
Yes, it's probably connected with how many emotion you feel. And how it shows. I think it's hard to explain, but people who seem not to have the ability to feel deep emotions are, in my opinion, just like puppets. There are people in this world that try to hide their emotions behind a wall. But sometimes - there are people, who you get the vibe from, that they don't have any emotions even behind the wall.

At least this how I perceive the only NPD person I know (not diagnosed, but I strongly suspect that). And, as I've written before, I don't know anyone with ASPD, so it's only my guess on how they'd "feel" to me.

What do you think the difference is between the 'emptiness' often referred to for BPD and the emptiness for NPD? I don't know if you experience your own 'emptiness' obviously or not I've just heard it can often occur in BPD in their own way and I'm curious what it means and how it could compare to other PD's.

I think I have Schizoid PD and NPD. I do feel a lot of deep emotions through art/aesthetics mainly. It's all internal. Also people with AsPD do have emotions. Just probably a limited I guess... People with NPD apparently have a shallow range of emotions too in comparison to what's 'normal'. They can experience affective empathy too it can just vary and can be limited. But to someone with BPD or some people without a PD, I can definitely imagine how I'd come across as empty and emotionless. A lot of the time I probably am. It depends. I come across like a blank slate a lot of the time. But I do have emotions. Just obviously understandable it would probably seem like I don't at all to some people who experience a wider range of emotions more intensely and frequently. Or are just more aware of their emotions or expressive of course. I'm not expressive hardly at all. Just like they would probably seem too much for me I guess so it makes sense. And obviously I don't know what the pwNPD you knew was like. I'm just talking about myself of course.

I'm not aware of meeting anyone with AsPD either (though it seemed like half my old school would have been diagnosed with conduct disorder lol). I think a lot of them probably seem normal most of the time. Compared to other Cluster B's who probably tend to be easier to spot on the whole. So maybe that's why.

xlostintranslationx wrote:What do you think the difference is between the 'emptiness' often referred to for BPD and the emptiness for NPD? I don't know if you experience your own 'emptiness' obviously or not I've just heard it can often occur in BPD in their own way and I'm curious what it means and how it could compare to other PD's.

Well, having BPD myself I would describe "BPD emptiness" as a lack of sense of life - like your life is meaningless, you feel alone, you don't see any reason to exist. Simply - "no future for me". So I guess that's why pwBPD often are so much engaged in relationships - because it the thing that finally adds some meaning to life and fills the void.

Yet with pwNPD the "emptiness" is different (I mean - I get different vibes from them). It's more of being incapable of engaging in relations, being incapable of feeling emotions, being incapable of share anything with others (since to me they seem like they have nothing inside of them). They're like robots. Even reading NPD sub-forum I still get the feeling that the posts are written by machines. Like they are always cut off from any emotional aspect of discussion.


(I'm not sure if my explanation is even understandable.)

Just because someone has aspd and lack empathy doesn't mean they have to be horrible abusive people it's just very easy for them to. My fiancé has done bad things in the past but he changed and not just for me. He didn't want to damn his soul. He has been mean to me before but he's more kind and giving than not and he has been diagnosed with aspd. I serve a purpose in his life he tells me. I give him back some of his humanity. I understand him and still love him. I give him all the love and nurturing he never had and he gives me the protection and care I never had. It's not easy for him living with his disorder. He has researched a lot on bpd. And does his best to understand which is difficult. I'm ok with controlling I like it I'm submissive. I calmed him down and prevent him from being so destructive and he prevents me from being self destructive because I am his property which I am ok with it and he doesn't want his property damaging their self. He dominates with out being manipulative to rid myself of my toxic relationships and has helped me improve greatly

I knew a couple consisting of a BPD girl dating a narcissistic guy... they broke up every few weeks and it was the most toxic, one-sided thing I've ever seen. It ended with the guy getting kicked in the face a bunch of times, a trashed car, and a fish tank that almost had bleach poured into it.

iate wrote:Yet with pwNPD the "emptiness" is different (I mean - I get different vibes from them). It's more of being incapable of engaging in relations, being incapable of feeling emotions, being incapable of share anything with others (since to me they seem like they have nothing inside of them). They're like robots. Even reading NPD sub-forum I still get the feeling that the posts are written by machines. Like they are always cut off from any emotional aspect of discussion.


(I'm not sure if my explanation is even understandable.)

Sounds about right. My kind of emptiness is related to a need for constant admiration, and I often feel distant and emotionless in regards to relationships and socializing. It's like a void that despite how much you fill it up, it doesn't never feel right or filled up. You never feel comfortable. You always seek better relationships, more money, greater admiration. You just never feel it is enough.

I think I'm attracted to narcissists more though.

Same here

Don't know and can't comment about the rest, but I can't stand the complete inflexibility and unpleasant sharpness that is often transmitted from narcissism. It's intolerable and I feel it's impossible to answer receptively.

first of all i am not diagnosed so nothing is sure.but i relate more with abandonment than admiration issues.

i try to think about this.lately since i read psychology and i am aware i found low level
narcissists very annoying and i can’t stand them.
because they are too obvious. not the mix with aspd.i would avoid them.i often see costumers with traits.

i think aspd are less annoying.or could manipulate me better.i feel i can get more annoyed with narcissism and hit on my nerves than aspd that will just hurt me and leave me simply ,but not hit on my nerves.

but when i was younger i might was attracted to narcissists without realizing it.because i revolved my life around them. the other thing.i had an attraction to styles that look more aspd and bpd.and the status seemed obnoxious to me back then.and now i wonder why the ###$ i was attracted to those people what the ###$ was wrong with me.it was like i was asking to be abused

Echinacea wrote:

I think I'm attracted to narcissists more though.

Same here

Want to date, Echinacea?

Midwinter wrote:

Echinacea wrote:

I think I'm attracted to narcissists more though.

Same here

Want to date, Echinacea?

Taking a break