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Afraid to bring BPD up to my docs

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Afraid to bring BPD up to my docs

Postby treemusic » Tue Jan 10, 2017 8:45 am

New here, sorry if I do anything wrong as far as rules but I think I followed them.

I was wondering how you all got diagnosed and whether you had to bring the subject up yourself or if they brought it up.

I've seen a therapist for a few months almost every week. I've done testing with a psychologist and the only thing he told me pretty concretely was that I have ADHD but he didn't give me answers about my mood swings or social anxiety and other issues. I then saw the psychiatrist to discuss it and he didn't really give me any further answers about what disorders I could have, just said that after starting adderall we would see in the future if I require anxiety meds or something for my mood swings (by the way all these professionals would talk about me to work together, so what my therapist knew they knew).

On one hand I guess they can treat symptoms without having to say definitively "you have ____ disorder", but I also feel like they're not taking me as seriously as they could. For example they all know I've self harmed and have had suicidal thoughts on and off.

I feel like I've talked about pretty much every BPD symptom I have at some point or another hoping they'd catch on but none of them have brought the possibility up. I understand not wanting to put the idea of having a personality disorder into someone's head, but at some point I want to know if I have it.

I'm afraid to bring it up because I don't know if they'll take me seriously. Especially my therapist who I think is a new therapist, I fear she'll just think it's a scary topic and not know what to say, or that they'll think I'm someone who spends too much time on google making myself think I have these problems or something.

Any experience/advice is appreciated.
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Re: Afraid to bring BPD up to my docs

Postby jaus tail » Tue Jan 10, 2017 2:45 pm

when i would go to the psychiatrist he would ask me
'do you feel sad all the time' and questions about childhood and stuff.

i once said, 'i may have borderline personality disorder' like self diagnosis and he just nodded, like shrugged it off then continued his line of questioning.

i guess it takes a lot of sessions before anyone can diagnose someone with a pd.
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Re: Afraid to bring BPD up to my docs

Postby triplemoon18 » Tue Jan 10, 2017 7:26 pm

ADHD is closely related to BPD, maybe they are seeing how your meds work for managing your ADHD symptoms before they make another diagnosis.

I am borderline and my daughter was diagnosed with Autism at 13 and then last spring, she was diagnosed with ADHD and when her meds were not helping her, then they finally looked at her having BPD.

If you think it is a possibility, you should mention it so you can get the right treatment. They have a lot more out there now than when I was diagnosed at 17.
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Re: Afraid to bring BPD up to my docs

Postby Nightfure » Tue Jan 10, 2017 7:46 pm

The first therapist I ever saw said that she never diagnosed anyone with BPD unless they came to her with the idea of it; something about not wanting to diagnose PDs or something. She also didn't diagnose me, because she thought I was too young (I was 20 at the time), and she didn't like labels.

When I went to my second therapy place, I didn't have to say anything; the woman who screened me into the program said it sounded like I have textbook BPD, and I had mentioned I had thought I had had that for a while. She left a note, and my therapist then diagnosed me officially; my third therapist reaffirmed the diagnosis, but after the second therapist it had already been in my file, I hadn't had to bring it up again.

It just depends mostly on the doctor(s), I think. A ton of them don't like labels and just treat for symptoms; while there is merit in that, personally labels are good so you can come on a forum or help site like here and find where you fit in. You're well within your rights as a patient to ask about diagnoses and whatnot, so bringing it up probably wouldn't hurt.
Prof-Dx: BPD, GAD+Panic, ADHD, psychotic tendencies (delusions+paranoia)
Looking Into: Schizotypal PD, DPDR (or DDNOS)
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Re: Afraid to bring BPD up to my docs

Postby treemusic » Tue Jan 10, 2017 8:19 pm

triplemoon18 wrote:ADHD is closely related to BPD, maybe they are seeing how your meds work for managing your ADHD symptoms before they make another diagnosis.

I am borderline and my daughter was diagnosed with Autism at 13 and then last spring, she was diagnosed with ADHD and when her meds were not helping her, then they finally looked at her having BPD.

If you think it is a possibility, you should mention it so you can get the right treatment. They have a lot more out there now than when I was diagnosed at 17.


You're right, I think that's what they're doing since he wanted to take it one med at a time. I assume ADHD was the easiest thing to diagnose in me first, although it's not the biggest issue I have- while I'm grateful that my meds are helping me concentrate I think my mood swings are a blaring issue



Nightfure wrote:The first therapist I ever saw said that she never diagnosed anyone with BPD unless they came to her with the idea of it; something about not wanting to diagnose PDs or something. She also didn't diagnose me, because she thought I was too young (I was 20 at the time), and she didn't like labels.

When I went to my second therapy place, I didn't have to say anything; the woman who screened me into the program said it sounded like I have textbook BPD, and I had mentioned I had thought I had had that for a while. She left a note, and my therapist then diagnosed me officially; my third therapist reaffirmed the diagnosis, but after the second therapist it had already been in my file, I hadn't had to bring it up again.

It just depends mostly on the doctor(s), I think. A ton of them don't like labels and just treat for symptoms; while there is merit in that, personally labels are good so you can come on a forum or help site like here and find where you fit in. You're well within your rights as a patient to ask about diagnoses and whatnot, so bringing it up probably wouldn't hurt.


This is something that surprised me as I started to learn more about mental health professionals. Some people act like you should just walk in and get diagnosed but I quickly learned that's not the case. I'm hearing more and more stories about how lots of doctors just don't think it's very necessary to give you labels (a little hard for me to accept since I like to know things for sure, and I don't think there's any thing wrong with having a diagnosis as long as it's the right one).


Thanks for your help everyone
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Re: Afraid to bring BPD up to my docs

Postby iate » Tue Jan 10, 2017 10:04 pm

I think it might because there is something like stigma around BPD. I'm not sure how it's in America or other countries, but in mine - some doctors even don't believe in BPD :?

From all the specialists that were working with me - one didn't want to take ANY responsibility and she kept saying "i don't know". From the rest - only one diagnosed me with BPD, the rest was very, very resistant to borderline and kept sticking to "personality disorder". When I was in a hospital I had ONE visit with psychologist and he said that, I'm quoting - "I didn't like BPD label, so I'd just write 'personality disorder' in my official diagnosis". Over a MONTH in a hospital and he seen me for about ONE HOUR. However, the psychiatrist also thought it's BPD, so go f**k yourself mr. psychologist.

Funny, one doctor even told me right in my face that he thought BPD was not real, but a good excuse for hysterical young women.
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Re: Afraid to bring BPD up to my docs

Postby treemusic » Wed Jan 11, 2017 9:09 am

triplemoon18 wrote:ADHD is closely related to BPD, maybe they are seeing how your meds work for managing your ADHD symptoms before they make another diagnosis.

I am borderline and my daughter was diagnosed with Autism at 13 and then last spring, she was diagnosed with ADHD and when her meds were not helping her, then they finally looked at her having BPD.

If you think it is a possibility, you should mention it so you can get the right treatment. They have a lot more out there now than when I was diagnosed at 17.


You're right, I think that's what they're doing since he wanted to take it one med at a time. I assume ADHD was the easiest thing to diagnose in me first, although it's not the biggest issue I have- while I'm grateful that my meds are helping me concentrate I think my mood swings are a blaring issue



Nightfure wrote:The first therapist I ever saw said that she never diagnosed anyone with BPD unless they came to her with the idea of it; something about not wanting to diagnose PDs or something. She also didn't diagnose me, because she thought I was too young (I was 20 at the time), and she didn't like labels.

When I went to my second therapy place, I didn't have to say anything; the woman who screened me into the program said it sounded like I have textbook BPD, and I had mentioned I had thought I had had that for a while. She left a note, and my therapist then diagnosed me officially; my third therapist reaffirmed the diagnosis, but after the second therapist it had already been in my file, I hadn't had to bring it up again.

It just depends mostly on the doctor(s), I think. A ton of them don't like labels and just treat for symptoms; while there is merit in that, personally labels are good so you can come on a forum or help site like here and find where you fit in. You're well within your rights as a patient to ask about diagnoses and whatnot, so bringing it up probably wouldn't hurt.


This is something that surprised me as I started to learn more about mental health professionals. Some people act like you should just walk in and get diagnosed but I quickly learned that's not the case. I'm hearing more and more stories about how lots of doctors just don't think it's very necessary to give you labels (a little hard for me to accept since I like to know things for sure, and I don't think there's any thing wrong with having a diagnosis as long as it's the right one).


Thanks for your help everyone
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Re: Afraid to bring BPD up to my docs

Postby Lebkuchen » Wed Jan 11, 2017 11:57 am

Nightfure wrote:It just depends mostly on the doctor(s), I think. A ton of them don't like labels and just treat for symptoms; while there is merit in that, personally labels are good so you can come on a forum or help site like here and find where you fit in. You're well within your rights as a patient to ask about diagnoses and whatnot, so bringing it up probably wouldn't hurt.


Wouldn't an actual diagnosis/label help though? I mean in most countries at it least entitles you to some benefits, even if it's just some money for healthcare.
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Re: Afraid to bring BPD up to my docs

Postby Casper » Wed Jan 11, 2017 4:55 pm

First, welcome to the forum!

Secondly, nope, you didn't break any rules by posting this here. This kind of thing is exactly what this forum is all about!

Unlike many others here, my psychiatrists brought it up with me, rather than the other way around. Not because I was afraid to, but because, prior to my diagnosis, I had never heard of BPD before. I knew of Bipolar, but that was as close as I knew.

That doesn't mean you should be afraid to bring up the possibility of BPD with your doctor, though. Yes, your therapist will think it's a scary topic because it IS a scary topic. It's a very scary topic!! As far as I know, BPD is the only PD that has suicidal behaviour as one of its criteria; you can't get much scarier than that, can you?

That doesn't mean you and your therapist shouldn't discuss it. In fact, it's all the more reason that you SHOULD.

Remember, first and foremost, THIS IS YOUR LIFE WE'RE TALKING ABOUT. Discomfort on the part of a therapist comes a very, very distant second to it. Official diagnosis or not, if the symptoms are there then there can be problems. It's not as though someone has ever sat in a room with a knife in their hand thinking "I'm gonna cut up my arm...but I don't have BPD, so I can't do that." The label may help get through the red tape in addressing the symptoms and the sources of the problem, but not having it doesn't make them go away.

If you think you have BPD, please, bring up the subject with your doc.
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Re: Afraid to bring BPD up to my docs

Postby triplemoon18 » Wed Jan 11, 2017 5:35 pm

Well having the ADHD managed will help some of the BPD symptoms because being ADHD makes you more impulsive and excitable on its own. They can't exactly give you a whole slew of meds at once and hope that the cocktail works to even you out.

My daughter has had quite a few drugs prescribed for her ADHD and BPD since last spring. She is now on Concerta for ADHD, Seroquel to help her sleep (also an antipsychotic for the BPD symptoms) and Prozac for moods. She used to be on Zoloft for moods and it worked great for a couple of years, but stopped working. We also tried Abilify to help her self harming and impulsive suicide attempts, but it made her crazy anxious 24/7.

Once they see how your ADHD is going and they may increase it a bit until you get to the perfect level, then you can see how your moods are and what else they can prescribe. They all interact with each other and you get side effects like my daughter used to be a really good eater, but she barely eats now and it has to be pretty junky to tempt her - we are lucky to get her to eat one healthy real meal a day. And her sleep is impossible without the seroquel and she will not sleep all night if she forgets to take it.

And if she wakes up too late, her ritalin and Prozac keep her up at night, even with the Seroquel. And she forgot her ritalin (Concerta) the other morning and couldn't concentrate at school, but also felt nauseous and awful without it.

I don't know how old you are, but they don't like to put a label like BPD on a teen or young adult - I was diagnosed at 17 years ago when there really was no hope/no good treatment for it and so I went through life not knowing what I was dealing with, but certainly knowing I was different than most people. I think it is awesome that there are so many books on borderline that help you learn about yourself, how it isn't your fault you feel/act a certain way and these are skills you can learn with practice.
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