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how can some people be so.. FORGIVING?

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Re: how can some people be so.. FORGIVING?

Postby triplemoon18 » Wed Jan 11, 2017 5:42 pm

We are all supposed to learn forgiveness because all people are human and make mistakes - I usually keep people around as long as the bad is outweighed by the good. No one is perfect.

But my mother, despite realizing that she probably has BPD and it should excuse her behaviour a bit - I will NEVER forgive her and I hope to hell I don't have to come back in another life with her. I don't think I will have to though because she didn't learn much about herself in this life - just how to find fault and blame others for her problems and then wonder why no one can stand to be around her! My father, I think since he apologized recently and knows he wasn't the best dad, well I think I am working on forgiving him. I know he was a victim of my mother too and he also had a horrid mother too.
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Re: how can some people be so.. FORGIVING?

Postby fdarkmatter » Thu Jan 12, 2017 3:53 pm

i am very forgiving but at the same time i tend to hold grudge against certain people, strange huh?
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Re: how can some people be so.. FORGIVING?

Postby madjoe » Thu Jan 12, 2017 6:56 pm

they dont forgive
they just lowering expectations
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Re: how can some people be so.. FORGIVING?

Postby TheBlackestDay » Mon Mar 06, 2017 6:23 am

For me it was a combination of love, hope and a fear of being alone that made me forgive things I would never have normally. My forgiveness ended the day the hope ended and the love turned to hatred which was processed and petered out over time.
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Re: how can some people be so.. FORGIVING?

Postby DT1095 » Mon Mar 06, 2017 8:26 am

I don't know about forgiving but Ive accepted my exgf's behaviour. I don't think I can ever forgive her but I accept she is who she is and she will do what she does. Even though it was personal I no longer take it personally. So maybe its not forgiveness your seeing but just acceptance.
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Re: how can some people be so.. FORGIVING?

Postby TheBlackestDay » Mon Mar 06, 2017 11:57 am

DT1095 wrote:I don't know about forgiving but Ive accepted my exgf's behaviour. I don't think I can ever forgive her but I accept she is who she is and she will do what she does. Even though it was personal I no longer take it personally. So maybe its not forgiveness your seeing but just acceptance.


I'm totally with you on acceptance. I think I accepted all of it as a waste of my time the day it ended for the final time. I'll add that even if she broke up with me it was only truly over because I decided I was done with it. Had I not I'm sure there would have been a few more recycles left in us. She pleaded with me a few times but I'd had enough. She even apologised in the end but I rejected it and that was the last time we spoke.

What I'm trying to say is that when all hope is gone and acceptance sets in the forgiveness ends. It's not an infinite source.
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Re: how can some people be so.. FORGIVING?

Postby AmandaBroken » Mon Mar 06, 2017 11:51 pm

Without forgiveness we would all be lost, enemies, filled with hate. We need forgiveness, compassion, mercy, without it, we would be no better than the animals.

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It gives you the ability to build yourself all over again,
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Re: how can some people be so.. FORGIVING?

Postby TheBlackestDay » Mon Mar 06, 2017 11:58 pm

Maybe in a world where forgiveness did not exist and with the knowledge of there being no way back people would be more gentle with each other.
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Re: how can some people be so.. FORGIVING?

Postby AmandaBroken » Tue Mar 07, 2017 12:04 am

TheBlackestDay wrote:Maybe in a world where forgiveness did not exist and with the knowledge of there being no way back people would be more gentle with each other.


That would be nice...
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Re: how can some people be so.. FORGIVING?

Postby DT1095 » Tue Mar 07, 2017 7:55 am

AmandaBroken wrote:Without forgiveness we would all be lost, enemies, filled with hate. We need forgiveness, compassion, mercy, without it, we would be no better than the animals.

Amanda


I think it depends on your description of forgiveness. For me to forgive something means that you say its ok. But I don't feel that way about everything. I can forgive a mistake but I cant forgive planned malicious acts. I can however accept that the person committing them is driven to do those things. I don't hate my exgf but I cant forgive her.
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