BPD mother, daughter and ex-husband

I am 43 and found out recently that I was diagnosed as borderline when I was 17 and no one ever told me. I knew I had depression and anxiety over the years and that I was terrible in relationships, but wasn't sure why. I only found out because I requested my psych file after my 16 year old daughter tried to kill herself last spring.

It has been a few months processing all of this information and I am wondering if everyone seems to have BPD every where in their lives. My daughter has BPD now, along with ADHD and was formerly diagnosed with autism. My ex-husband was diagnosed BPD with sociopathic tendancies a few years after our marriage broke up. I am realizing that my mother had BPD along with narcissism and it seems my aunts and grandmother had it too.

I work in a law office that defends parents in child protection - we help the parents get their children back after the government takes their kids from them. I realize now that my favourite clients have had BPD - I must have recognized something in them that was in me. A lot of them have been able to work hard, listen to our advice and get their kids back.

I just wonder if every one seems to have BPD everywhere. How am I supposed to get over being raised by a borderline mother and also help my own borderline child?

I really worked extra hard not to be like my parents, but I of course made mistakes and I worry that my own kids will struggle from having had a borderline mother - they know I love them to pieces, but I have certainly not been perfect. As a single mom with no help living in poverty for most of their lives, I had my rages at the unfairness of it all or got frustrated with them over the years.

Hello. I have bpd as well. I think to a certain extent we look for things we see in ourselves in other people as a way to feel normal. I didn't find out I was borderline until I was in my twenties. I was always told I was either bipolar or major depressive. My mother has this as well but denies it. She doesn't think anything is wrong with her. She was very bad growing up, it hurt me alot. My ex I believe had this disorder as well and plus he sexually and emotional abused me for 4 years. And now I have ptsd too because of it. Broken people find other broken people..

Hey triplemoon18,
For me , i have to say yes most definitely
All my family and some extended family members too

Grandmother (un-dx BPD) Mothers stories about her
My mother (NPD/BPD)
My brother (ADHD)
Me (BPD)
My 2 sons (ADHD)
My male Cousin ( Schizophrenia)
My 2 female Cousins (unknown) but definitely something (ADHD) I thought for 30+
My ex (ADHD/NPD) plus some un dx stuff

Wow ...even just typing them out gave me a sense of hidden knowledge hmmm

Well as you see in my case ..its a yes

And i agree with heartonfire
I seem to attracted broken people

i went from thinking my family is normal to suddenly realizing everyone might have disorder traits they all fit way even more than me.and i have never been with anyone healthy.
even the friends i make or people i am attracted too i usually like more people i relate with.and avoid mainsteam attitudes annoy me.
what if i get hurt because everyone i ever want is broken too.but mainstream seems impossible to like i hate them so much when they talk because i can’t relate.but i also hate my family too much and the idea i am attracted the most to the same things i hate is the strangest thing
how is this happening.this is like a mind ###$

Wow. I hate myself most of the time, it's scary to imagine being around a whole bunch of me. I tend to meet people who are borderline also, or have the qualities of people with bpd. I have two daughters and I'm terrified of raising them to learn bpd behaviors because I'm so mismanaged with my bpd. I don't know why we have to go through this, I hate it. Everyday. It's so difficult to function. Like attracts like I guess.

i have the crazy feeling where i hate myself too much and i am worse than everything i like and don’t deserve it but at the same time i love myself more than anyone else and it would be ideal to be with someone like myself so we could easy understand each other and want the same.
i hate my family except my mom.
i felt suffocated that i had to pretend because i depent on them of money.not now,not anymore,when i was younger.

i hated and find pathetic the depentency my mom had with my dad.
but when i fall in love i realized that i wanted the same. and that attracted me.the same thing i grew up hating in family,and made me suffer, when is relationships i seek it.
i am way way more egotistical than my mom though