Hi,
I have a question about medication, I hope I'm posting in the right area. I'm new here, so if not I apologize.
I'm on day 17 of Bupropion XL 150mg. The first few days were great - I felt very self-aware, but I had just come down from a serious episode, and I usually find clarity after I get all of my rage out.
Anyway, as time went on I started getting severe anxiety - much more than usual. My heart felt like it was going to explode, and I felt immense pain everywhere in my body. After that I went into a serious episode - I felt like I was on speed, or Adderall (I don't have ADD or ADHD, it was a substance abuse situation). This wasn't how I wanted to feel - especially since my anxiety is a huge problem. I chose Wellbutrin because it didn't seem to having the numbing effects of SSRIs.
Is it possible that my anxiety isn't getting worse, but just showing itself more? It felt like I could no longer hold in my immense feelings.
Anyway, side effects that have been co-current are acne, diarrhea, headaches, and insomnia. I don't have very good insurance, so the doctors I've been to have been part of the Medi-cal program. Although I definitely am happy that these services are available, I've had trouble finding a stable therapist or doctor who is knowledgeable about BPD (and willing to sit with me more than 3 minutes), so I feel like they aren't prescribing me the right things. I could be overthinking it though...the point is I'm lost.
I know it's all trial and error with medication, but I can't help to feel in the dark and highly confused.
I want to know what your experiences are with medication and BPD? I know that the only thing I can do is treat the depression, anxiety and mood swings so I know that I have to face my problems myself. However, the reason I am trying to medication is because I need assistance in order to actually face myself.
Any input would be helpful.
Thank you!