Being more attracted to the wrong guy kind than the right

Sorry Nightowl, got the wrong end of the stick there. It's ok to have crushes on people and I can see why the bad ones might seem more attractive - there's a certain thrill to that kind of danger. Don't know why but roller coasters just popped into my brain - they're fun for a while but you wouldn't want to stay on one forever which is what you might get if you acted on those feelings. In some ways I think people with BPD like to feel intensely, when we don't it can feel boring and dull. Perhaps it comes down to recognising the healthy from the unhealthy and deciding which you would prefer in your life.

wind runner wrote:

friscodyke wrote:Yep. In fact I've tried relationships with nice guys and girls but I get bored. I need the edge to my relationships or I take the wheel and ###$ it up.

I can relate to that.
As a guy I seem to end up with manic, kinky, self abusive girls that are high drama and emotionally unavailable; the logical part of my head says I hate the drama and find a 'normal' girl. When I meet a nice normal girl I find the relationship boring, the sex boring and the lack of drama/conflict boring.

I guess you could say I'm just your type. (;

friscodyke wrote:

wind runner wrote:

friscodyke wrote:Yep. In fact I've tried relationships with nice guys and girls but I get bored. I need the edge to my relationships or I take the wheel and ###$ it up.

I can relate to that.
As a guy I seem to end up with manic, kinky, self abusive girls that are high drama and emotionally unavailable; the logical part of my head says I hate the drama and find a 'normal' girl. When I meet a nice normal girl I find the relationship boring, the sex boring and the lack of drama/conflict boring.

I guess you could say I'm just your type. (;

Two BPD's, what could possibly go wrong

Remember Ronni wrote:Sorry Nightowl, got the wrong end of the stick there. It's ok to have crushes on people and I can see why the bad ones might seem more attractive - there's a certain thrill to that kind of danger. Don't know why but roller coasters just popped into my brain - they're fun for a while but you wouldn't want to stay on one forever which is what you might get if you acted on those feelings. In some ways I think people with BPD like to feel intensely, when we don't it can feel boring and dull. Perhaps it comes down to recognising the healthy from the unhealthy and deciding which you would prefer in your life.

No need to apologise Remember Ronnie! None of us are mind readers so you weren't to know. I think what you said about feeling like one is being kept on a roller coaster/wanting to feel intensely (with life seeming boring and dull if I don't) is definitely spot on here. Deep down though, I do know bad boys don't often change and that it would only be a matter of time before I got seriously emotionally hurt if I ever got involved with one. They tend to be out for casual sex with multiple women without caring one iota about emotional intimacy and that's never been truly for me. One serious mistake I once made with a boy, when 13, as well as giving that a shot with an ex when I was in my later teens taught me that much.

You're also right on needing to think through those latter things more. I'll do that. Many thanks for the advice.